Camping!

 Last weekend we went camping with friends.  Good friends and good coffee make for a grand weekend.  And I was lucky enough to have both.  I am a tent camper--which appears to be a declining form of camping as I saw RV's everywhere but very few tents (except those doing duty as overflow for the RV folks)  I find this interesting as to me, an RV feels like I am a hermit crab, carrying my house along with me.  I enjoy the freedom of choosing minimal essentials and making it work for the time we are there.  I usually forget something--the only thing that would ever cause panic would be the coffee pot!  The pot above has camped with me for more years than I dare to count.  It was falling apart til I had to lend it to my friend this weekend and he fixed it before returning it to me.  Clever guy can fix anything. But, I was able to fix their caffeine deprivation because I had an old fashioned perk pot and they had a Keurig and the electricity at the campground went out!  Old school to the rescue!

Between our two families we had 10 kids, ranging from 3 to 17  It was so much fun.  Evening campfires, games at the picnic tables, several communal meals.  Lissa got to night swim, which is always a big deal at 13.  I remember how special that was at that age.  There were smores, laughter and a birthday celebration for our friend's son who turned 14.

This will be our only campout this Summer of Covid.  But it was a most excellent one, with warm and wonderful memories that I will grasp as tightly as I do that coffee on a chilly camping morning!

First and Last Campout 2019

We left home to clear skies and lovely crisp temperatures on Friday.  This was a much anticipated camp out. Partly because in a strange confluence of events it was our ONLY camp out this year.  Partly because this camp out at a retreat center in Maine with friends from our church and a neighboring church is an important launch to the Religious Education year for my kids.

Chet had a hard time on the trip up.  He was more frenetic than is typical and Rob was unable to come with us.  That may have played a role in Chet's behavior because whenever you deviate from the expected routine, his behavior decompensates.

 Also, the retreat center has instituted some new policies.  Some of those meant that Chet could not assist as a "porter" carrying people's bags to their rooms and showing them the room locations.  However, I had prepared for this and reminded him over the past three weeks about how this had changed.  It was now a staff job etc.  So during the time he would typically help others, he and I played a variety of card games on the porch of the dining hall and watched the moon rise over the waters.

Thankfully we also took a long beach walk as a family as the weather was lovely on Friday.  (note foreshadowing for Saturday's weather!  LOL) We also looked for small to medium sized rocks oval and smoothed by the ocean.  My SIL is fighting breast cancer and she recently spoke with me about healing rocks at the center.  They are painted with images and sayings that make the visitors to the center feel loved and strong.  She had taken two and knew she had to replace them, as that is their policy. She does not do crafts and had offered to bring back her two rocks when she no longer needs them.  I offered to paint two rocks for her and she has chosen what they are to say.  I hope the goddess guides my hands as I am not the most clever of painters and this is important to me. 

We found a variety of rocks that we screen shot to her so she could choose the ones she likes.  We also wrote her a message in the sand and sent that to her.  Her prognosis is good but the road to health is going to be long and challenging.  Despite hearing "stage 1" it is still scary.  And due to family history and aspects of her cancer, she still has to have chemo and radiation.  She shaved her hair this Saturday and sent me pictures. We texted while I was at the camp out.  I hope it helped  and that she could feel my love and support even though I could not be with her that day.

Friday night was cold.  We definitely felt the icy fingers of Lady Autumn as we lay in our tents.  It was 45 degrees when we woke in the morning.  Thankfully I am a bit of a veteran to this camping gig and had packed well and warmly.  The kids had argued bitterly with me back at home when I was gathering warm things. I think on Saturday they realized that Ooma might still know a thing or two as we were more than prepared!  (laughing again)

The whole of Saturday was cold and rainy off and on.  There was a bit of beach walking and lots of game playing and talking.  You know, I could choose to be angry that my only camp out had cold temps or I could find happiness in time to read, and talk with friends and play games.  I chose the latter as did the kids.  Chet had lots of kids who wanted to play Magic the Gathering with him so he was set literally for the day.

Saturday night was the talent show and bonfire with singing and more conversation.  It was late when we got to bed but I woke early as usual and joined friends on the beach for a short yoga session.  My yoga has improved over the years.  My balance is still less than what i wish it was, but it is better than a year ago.  My new class, while not necessarily feeling like it physically challenges me, has taught me more flow of poses and a sense of searching for quiet inside myself.

Of course today, in the capricious way of things, the weather was warm sunny clear and lovely.  However we had also learned that KC's close friend just lost her dad very unexpectedly.  (car accident)  He was trying to support her long distance and feeling somewhat emotionally worn himself.  Rather than prolong our day, we broke camp and headed home.  I was missing my wife, and i also knew I had 8 loads of camping wash to do, the tent to set up again and dry when we got home etc.

And so, the rest of the day has been spent cleaning the equipment so it is ready for next year, doing laundry so the work week can start smoothly, and remembering the sound of the ocean when I lay in our tent these past two nights.  I will miss that perhaps the most I think.

It was the kind of camp out that left me feeling very connected to my network of church friends, and also very aware of the fact that fall is truly here.  I watched red leaves skitter across the sand as I walked the beach.  I saw brilliantly scarlet sumac and gorgeous golden rod.  There was no denying the wheel has turned!

Hello Fall!

And just like that--summer was gone.  The air is crisp and cold tonight as I write this.  The moon rides high and full in the sky.  Part of me is still mourning the passing of summer. It will always be my favorite time of the year.  The warmth, the long hours of day light, the bird song are all special to me. I have saved up the memories to pull out and smile over during the cold days of winter.

But for now, like the grasshopper, we are busy!  Fall is fun too because there is just so much going on. I love being busy and I love that we like to do lots of things in the fall.  This weekend we are camping with our church in southern Maine.  It is a special time where the kids reconnect with friends and the adults gather and socialize.  The food is good, the company is fantastic and there are miles of beach to walk and enjoy.  There is yoga on the beach in the morning and I may even do that this year.  My yoga abilities while not stellar are a lot better than they used to be.  I would at least not embarrass myself. We leave tomorrow around noon and will return on Sunday.

Church begins the following week, although Elisabeth's coming of age class has all ready launched.  Rather literally actually as the first event was a canoe trip.  This will be an exciting and transforming year for her.  I can't wait to see how it unfolds for her. I have been lucky that all my kids have had this experience and it has without a doubt changed each of them profoundly.

Our city fall festival is coming up and the kids spend the day there helping the table that the dance school has and dancing at the festival.  This is another fall highlight for both kids. They love to be ambassadors for the dance school and to have the day down town with their friends.

Things have changed this summer.  It wasn't just the plants growing profusely in our gardens. or the rooms of the house during the seemingly endless house renovations.  Our kids have grown and changed as well.  Both KC and Elisabeth are increasingly independent.  They are adept at making plans and getting details so things will happen.(although ironically, Elisabeth excels at this a bit more than her brother.)

We are no longer the centers of their worlds.  As I told someone the other day, I am no longer the center of their universe, I have moved to one of the middle planets.  We are loved, and I know that, but as it should, their focus is moving outward.  We are not the first person they tell things to sometimes, and the things that occupy their world are wider than decorating for fall.  But they are both amazing kids and I am so proud of them and so very lucky to be their mom.

Instant Love

Well, Instant Pot that is!  We got an instant pot about 6 months ago.  I am officially in love with it.  For me as a vegetarian I can cook whole grains and beans quickly and easily.  I can saute, slow cook and pressure cook all in the same pot.  Have I ever moaned about how much I hate doing dishes?  The IP means literally one pot to clean up.  My favorite veg things to make are hard boiled eggs, chili, vegetable soup, broccoli soup, refrieds, and black bean soup, risotto, cooked barley in tomato sauce and I am sure I am forgetting a host of others.  This has been a life saver since this year KC and Elisabeth are in different dance groups and much of my time is spent running between home and the studio.

However, the IP has also been helpful for cooking for my wife.  She works a different schedule from our family eating schedule and this has led to really unhealthy eating choices for her. (read fast food on a regular basis or skipping supper and enjoying a really big bowl of ice cream)  I get that when you get home around 7:30 or 8 no one wants to cook.  I suggested that I leave her a plate of whatever supper I had prepared for the family but she steadfastly declined. 

I eventually realized that this was because she no longer ate a vegetarian diet.  While I think that the veg diet would be healthier, that is not my choice.  The dilemma is that after 30 years of not eating meat, I really get grossed out by meat.  I am not being mean, it just literally grosses me out. BUT in the Instant Pot I don't really have to handle it.  I don't even have to look at it for long.  I know, some folks are probably doing that eye roll that happens when omnivores have to put up with vegetarians.  But it seriously is important to me. 

I suggested to her that we get some freezer storage bowls, similar to those used for TV dinners and I would make her some meals to freeze.  Then she pops it in the microwave when she gets home and all is good.  I have found a number of meals that she likes--honey garlic chicken is a favorite, as well as something called mississippi pot roast (which I used chuck roast for)  I did a beef stew that went over well and a hamburger stroganoff. For someone who will not taste test any of the meat dishes I make I consider that I have been uber successful!

I have also taught KC how to cook his penne for pasta in the IP  We have a gas stove and I prefer that the kids don't use the stove top when I am not around. The IP lets him cook his pasta and his taco meat in what seems more safety to me.

Kirsty has long expressed a desire to travel cross country in a tin can on wheels  camper when we retire.  I have not ever really loved that idea, though I do dearly want to see the country. I am jut not a camper kind of gal.  But with a small tent for me to sleep in, a camper for her, and an instant pot to cook with, it could work!

First Campout of 2018-- VERY Late post!

We are back from our first camp out of the summer and it was so much fun!  Hikes, theme parks, board games with friends.  We could see stars and the milky way clearly at night and I slept soundly tucked into my sleeping bag in our tent.

This year we brought another girl with us as well.  I don't really know her parents well; I have met them twice actually.  But I know her through our camping friends and my kids knew her as well.  She very much wanted to come on a camping vacation and her parents would not go. So her parents messaged me and wanted to know if I would take their daughter camping.

I was fine with it and she was very easy to bring.  I actually felt bad because everything we did was so new and exciting to her. She is 16 and clearly hasn't had a lot of experiences offered her in life. So making pancakes on the griddle outdoors was amazing.  Making "walking tacos" was thrilling. Going to Storyland had her over the moon taking pictures with characters.  Hiking up some waterfalls?  The absolute bomb.

I felt lucky to be able to offer those experiences to her.  I guess I hadn't really realized that there are lots of kids who don't get exposures in life.  My friends and i have camped together since 2012.  Our kids have grown up together camping and enjoying all that such vacations offer. This young lady's mom doesn't like warm weather and doesn't like to go out of the house and leave her a/c  Her dad thinks that kids don't need to go anywhere.

But they do.  The world is large and wide and in order to learn how to navigate in it, they need to get out in it.  They have to learn to make decisions (trying to decide what to order at a diner was torture for her) They have to learn to help (everyone helps police our site to keep it boring for bears as we camp in bear country) Everyone helps set up and everyone helps break camp but in between there is lots of fun. 

I am also a pretty laid back camper in that I tend to go with the flow--weather often dictates what can happen.  But kids choose a lot of the activities locations and experiences.  It was super super fun.  I can't wait for the next campout!

***Edited to note that I wrote this in July and forgot to post it!

Camping 2018

The kids and I are back from a camping trip with friends.  We knew we had been camping together a long time but Facebook memories says we have been at this since 2012!  Sure didn't realize it was that long.  Other families have filtered in and out of our camping group but the two of our families have remained constant.  Watching the kids grow up together has been pretty special.  They range from 8 to 16 now and hang out together really well.  No cliques.  Dynamics ebb and flow acording to interests.  Pool time found the upper aged teens horsing around in the deep end and then gathered on the pool stairs laughing and talking.  The younger ones were doing more swimming than chatting. 

But it was such an easy campout because there was always someone around who had an interest in what the other kid was doing or wanted to do.  So I had nearly 6 days with no whining or arguing--truly a Mom miracle! 

Us parents are good friends too--we feed each others kids, help each other out, and love to play board games by the fire at night. 

My campsite was less than stellar (noisy neighbors) but at the end of the day, I didn't care.  (and eventually the noisy ones packed up and left.)  Life is too short to focus on negative.  I was too busy watching the stars that you can't see in the city, cooking on the camp stove, hiking and swimming and making memories.  There are likely more years behind us now than ahead of us for these type of gatherings.  Those upper aged teens like my KC and my friends E and K are going to be busy with jobs and their own lives really soon. The signs are there now.  Older teens going off together when we are at a venue and stopping back periodically to check with us.  Evening games that don't require adults after dinner is done.

I'm loving where we are now, and how deep our friendships have become. I am loving the people all the kids are evolving into and watching that transformation from kid to young adult is really a privilege.  I enjoy also the fact that the more relaxed venue of camping has always made it easier for kids (mine and who ever else is around) to talk.  This trip it was KC, who shared his thoughts on taking a relationship from best friend to boyfriend/girlfriend status.  His concerns about losing a good friend, of not wanting to rush her were thoughtful and true signs of the young man he is becoming. 

But I am not going to lie.  I also miss this.  When Rob was younger than KC is now and Lissa was a bit of a thing.  Camping was probably a lot more work than it is now--though I don't remember it that way.  But my friends were teasing me this trip about how early my kids used to go to bed so I know a whole lot has changed as they got older. As things change as they grow and mature sometimes I feel like I am the one on the Chimney Drop!

Kayaking and phones that don't swim

Last week Lissa and I left mid week for a camping trip with dear friends of ours.  Our two families have camped together now for more years than I can count.  Our kids have been friends since they were young preschool aged wee ones.

In years past I had all the kids with me but this year marked the first time that it was only Lissa and I going.  KC wanted to stay here in town and complete his week of dance camp.  Chet opted to stay home, saying sleeping on the ground didn't appeal to him at the moment.  Rob had to work.  Lissa was still very excited though--so excited she opted to skip dance camp on Wednesday so we could hit the road early in the morning instead of after dance camp was done. (she was only supposed to be at camp through Wednesday, KC went all week)

So we did and I loved the time that it was just she and I .  It was such a different dynamic that rarely happens in our large and busy family.   She too, looks so grown up in this picture, that I snapped right when we got to the campground.  Time flies, it really does.

Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have of the days we spent together.  I took a number of great ones but on Thursday of our vacation we went kayaking.  First time for both of us. Our friends suggested it and they have kayaked on this particular river before.  We set off and most of the way was really delightful.  It was a six mile journey with lots of stops for the kids to play, snack snap pics, jump in the river, etc.  However as we journeyed on the skies began to darken and I worried that a pop up thunderstorm might be headed our way.  I expressed my concern to my friends who were stopping to do more river play.  We agreed that Lissa and I would journey on ahead (there were many other kayakers from the same outfit on the river so I knew I could not get lost or something weird like that)  I had been paddling for hours and felt relatively confident.  The river was low--I had to pull us across shallow areas numerous times.  So we agreed to meet up at the take out location and Lissa and I set off.  Sure enough shortly after that it began to rain, but thankfully NO thunder.  So we were safe, though damp and kind of chilly.  Lissa was getting tired and doing far less paddling.  But we paddled on and then rounded a corner on the river.  A tree was leaning out over the river and I remember telling Lissa to push us away from that with her paddle as we were headed too close to it.  I don't know if she did or not but the next thing we knew, the tree had ensnared us and we were being pushed backward by it. The kayak began to fill with water as it tilted and we capsized.  Apparently said overhanding tree disguised a rapid little current of water there.  It was not over our heads but it did terrify poor Lissa.  I held onto her and the kayak and all our belongings went down river.  We had life jackets on so we were safe and I was not letting go of her because she was hysterical.   Someone who was playing on the banks a short distance from us saw the mishap and came to assist.  I passed Lissa across to him so that she had hands on her the whole time.  Then I climbed out of the river myself.

Amazingly all our belongings except my  beloved NFL hat and our sunscreen were recovered.  Lissa was not hurt. I got an epic bruise on my right arm but it has never pained me.  We were fine.  Shaken but fine.  My friends arrived to find us all ready loading up back into our kayak ready to paddle the last wee bit to the take out spot.  I felt it was really important for Lissa to see that this could happen and we would not tip over again.  Regardless of my efforts though, she is not feeling any kayak love.

My phone was drenched and died despite my immediately plopping it in a box of rice pilaf in my camping kit when we hit dry land.  Hence my lovely shots are lost and remain only in my memory.  But I remember my tall strong daughter on a giant boulder in the middle of the river. I remember looking down at polished river stones in amazingly clear water, deer prints on the sand bar, and laughter.

The event was also a bit of PSA for life jackets.  I made Lissa wear her jacket and I wore mine.  My friends did not and Lissa was miffed.  I said that sometimes stuff happens and you don't know when it might happen, but that this was a way to make sure we stayed safe.  It was indeed a key part in our overall safety when the accident occurred.  So yes.  Wear the life jacket people.  I am a good swimmer. I am still glad we had them on.  I also learned a bit too late, that Otter box makes a "dry box" that would have kept my phone safe and dry.  I'll have the "phone life jacket" next time too!

Chet is 31

Today is Chet's birthday.  My eldest is 31 today! We actually are not having his party till Sunday due to various family member work schedules.  However I wanted him to have something festive for supper tonight so here he is in the picture on the left with his home made waffle sundae.  Freshly made waffle, topped with chocolate chip ice cream ,whipped cream caramel sauce (just a drizzle) and fresh blueberries.  He was thrilled and very surprised.

The picture of Chet on the right is him at a party,though which one escapes me.  I love his zany joy and exuberance. But, his autism means he gets overwhelmed with sensory easily.  I think these two pictures show that the most clearly.  His face is so relaxed in todays shot.  Lots of tension and the grimacey smile in the second one.  The shot on the left is precious to me as I can count on one hand the number of pictures I have like that .

But regardless of the pictures, my love for this guy is unchanged.  He is zany, whacky and will sometimes drive me round the bend, but that is all beside the point. He also has a true deep caring for large issues of injustice a desire to help people in the wider world and definately believes in not wasting our planets resources.  Happy Birthday Chet!

Road Trip 2018?

This summer has been filled with memory making opportunities.  We have camped multiple times with a variety of friends.  I am so lucky to have so many people I genuinely enjoy spending time with. And who apparently reciprocate this feeling.

Our most recent camping adventure also found me bringing along the little boy who used to live next door to us and who was part of our kids lives for many years.  B had never been camping and he and KC and Lissa relished the 5 days together.  We were also camping with my friends Des and Eric and their four kids.  We have camped together for about 5 years now.  While we were sitting around the campfire, they said that in 2018 they want to travel cross country and they would love our family to come along.

It was high praise--the proposed trip is a month long journey.  They said that they could not envision doing this with any other friend than our family.  (sniff)  My knee jerk reaction was "heck that is so sweet but how can  I possibly do that?"  Thankfully I stuffed that thought back in my craw and said I"d ask my wife what she thought when I got home.

Kirsty was very excited by the idea.    My next step was to find out if I can get a month off from work.  I get 5 weeks of vacation annually.  Truthfully I have never used all my vacation days. Ever.  But the type of work I do has federal deadlines and there is a policy that one is not supposed to be gone more than 2 consecutive weeks.  (OK here is where I confess I have not done THAT either!) I use about 2 1/2 to 3 weeks yearly but in dribs and drabs throughout the year.  I typically maximize my time off by planning around existing holidays when our office is closed anyway.

I told my boss about the possible adventure.  She is very supportive and has submitted my request to HR.  I have my fingers crossed for a yes.  After all it is a 2 year notice and I am willing to do anything necessary to make sure someone is fully trained in what I do for the month that I would be gone.

Meanwhile, in a spirit of optimism we adults met at Des and Eric's new RV last night.  Partly to admire their new digs. Partly to talk about where we all want to go.  Mostly to State Parks which  an annual pass will make pretty affordable. Partly to talk logistics--how many driving hours would we shoot for daily?  What type of areas do we want to stop in at night?  My family will have to rent an RV as we do not own one.  I am a tent camper and am also petrified to drive an RV.  So I will be copilot and keep the kids happy and entertained while we travel.

Des shared their list of "must sees" and we have added a few. The kids are very excited about this. It will be the trip of a lifetime for us, I am sure. Lots of planning, lots of saving, but an adventure of epic proportions!

Long Weekend in Review

My cup overflows with happiness.  This was a GLORIOUS long weekend for us. It started with being able to leave work 2 hours early on Friday.  Typically when we get "early release" something happens and I can't leave.  By some weird miracle, this time, I was out the door at 2:05!  This gave me time to chat with my wife before she left for work.  Time together for us is treasured.  We work opposite hours from each other a lot of the time.  In large part, this serves our family well as one of us is always around to meet the needs of our brood.  But it also means carving out relationship time has to be thoughtful and to some extent, truly planned.  Those 2 magic hours when I was home early were a rare and unplanned bonus to us.  After she left for work, I was able to do a few errands that typically happen on Saturday.

Saturday morning we shopped for our BBQ 2 buggies worth of shopping. We also got the decorations for the canopies.  I am truly incapable of gathering people together without doing some kind of decorating.  I love to do it. It is welcoming. It is something the kids like to help with.  And I usually use supplies purchased at the dollar store.  So it is inexpensive and I don't feel compelled to make things I need to try and store and re-use.

At about 10 we left to head out to the western part of our state. The trip, which should have taken a bit over 2 hours took us over 3.  Holiday traffic and a large accident slowed us greatly.  Luckily we had sort of planned for that possibility and the extension of the trip did not make us late to our venue.  We headed to Jacobs Pillow to see a dance presentation.  We saw Che Malombo, an Argentine dance troupe.  The performace was amazing and we all loved it. Best of all, my wife was unexpectedly able to join us. She had not thought this would be the case and at the 11th hour I scrambled to get her a ticket to the nearly sold out show.  She could not sit with us--we had seats right near the front in the center.  But we were able to share the experience.  The kids adored the performance, especially my dance guy, KC.  Watching an all male dance company was very empowering to him. As you might imagine, guys are the minority in most local dance schools.  Our school has more than most, but the guys are still vastly outnumbered.

Sunday we spent getting ready for todays BBQ.  I had a flag cake to make and a "mexican pasta salad"  Both recipes were from The Pioneer Woman  Both were amazing and enjoyed by all.  We had a ton of food.  BBQ chicken, veggie burgers, hot dogs, potato salad,green salad, chips and dip, fresh strawberries for shortcake, the aforementioned cake and delicious thumb print cookies made by my friend Laura.  We had about 15 people all told and it always amazes me how people can gather from different walks of life and just enjoy each other and have fun.  If it can happen in my back yard, can't it happen elsewhere too?  If we bring our laughter and our recipes instead of our preconceptions, the world would be a happier, gentler place.

We had about 5 or 6 kids here and they all played together and had a blast.  One of them successfully negotiated themselves an invite to come camping with me when I take the kids in August for our next to the last campout.  I am fine with that, and his mom is as well.  One more kid is not ever an issue for me.

Now I am trying to prepare myself for "re entry"  The regular  world will come knocking on my door at 5:20 tomorrow morning.

Sum-sum-summertime!

Summer is my most favorite time of the year.  Lissa has been counting down  the days to our first campout which is Memorial Day weekend.  The weeks before that are busy--Dance recital approaches and KC is very involved again with 5 dances and several speaking parts.  There have been extra practices and busy-ness surrounding that.

But the campout is the following weekend, and it sort of glistens out there on the horizons of our consciousness.   Much as a water starved person in the desert sees an oasis in the distance, the plans for our campout are that balm to the spirit for us.  We have never been to this particular campground, which is also something that appeals to us.  We like to try new places and we will be there with good friends.

So that is the official launch to summer.  We have a lot of fun all ready on the books so to speak.  This year we are after a 2 or 3 year hiatus returning to the community gardens.  I can't WAIT to nosh home grown tomatos!

We always go to our citys starburst festival in June, our city's summer stroll (typically KC also dances with the studio at this.  It is fun to watch the kids dance in the streets and see bystanders joining in )  We are going to NH with Fiona in June for 2 nights and 3 days.  This will be her first vacation with us and it is exciting.  We are not camping with Fi.  She is not really a camping kind of gal and I think that the fact that sometimes it is hard for her to maintain control and her need for separate space when she is upset make tenting not the best option at this particular juncture.  We will be in a condo in the Lakes region of NH. We will hopefully take a boat cruise on one of the large lakes there, visit a wildlife refuge and visit her favorite place of all--the outlet mall.  Late in June we are doing Christmas (yes you read that right) with my inlaws. It is odd but we could not all get together at the appropriate time so it will be in June and it will be fun!

July 4th we are hosting an Independence Day BBQ.  Friends and family will join us.  Later in July we are  camping with another group of friends.  My wife and Chet and Rob will be with us as well.  July is also dance camp for the littles and a weekend quick camping get away for the littles, my wife and I.  This is the famous tipi camping place so it is an easy venue and also very close to KC's favorite Christmas themed amusement park.  In July our city is having its first ever comic con and it is supposedly family oriented and the kids and i plan on attending this. KC loves to draw comics and anime so I think he will really enjoy this.

August gives us a chance to camp again with another set of friends. This is in a different campground--another new one.  This campground places us near a place that will allow Lissa to try horseback riding. She has wanted to do this for so long and most places require you to be 10. I have no idea why; I rode way younger than that!  But anyway, this one allows you to ride if you are over 8.  The princess is 9 so she and I will go riding during that campout.

There will be more. There will be movies and berry picking, laying and watching meteor showers on blankets and hopefully a mountain or two to climb.  As always the docket looks full and rich, with opportunities for new experiences and old favorites alike.  I can't wait!

A dream deferred

Last summer we were invited to go to Disney and camp with good friends of ours.  We talked it over and decided to try really hard to make it happen.  We knew it would not be easy.  My job did not give raises last year, though our family expenses rose with braces and other things of a similar, non luxury area.

The kids knew then it was an effort, but I know that even more than I do, my kids sail their ships with positivity.  Tonight they will learn that we need to defer this plan for another year.  Our van just needed very substantial work and at over $1000 it is still not totally finished yet.  My car needs work I have not even brought it in for but that will also be in the same vicinity. (note to self:  convince KC or Lissa to become a mechanic.  They will live well!)  We had a big plumbing issue this Christmas and there is more plumbing yet to address.

We took our Florida savings and paid for the plumbing and the van repair.  It would be silly to incur finance charge or interest fees when we had the money--although it was intended for something a lot sexier than pipes and brakes!

I am really sad too, but I am looking at this as an important life lesson for the kids.  There are times you have to recalibrate. When your most desired dream has to be accomplished at another time or in another way.  I hope that in time, they will see that as well.

Long Range Planning

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out with my friends Des and Eric at the local roller rink.  Our kids all have free passes for skating so the parents were chatting, while the kiddos did their thing on the rink.  Actually the odd thing is that I was not skating with them as I love roller skating and usually do. And if I had, well the conversation might not have happened. . .

Des said that their family was going to Disney in October of 2016 and camping at the Disney campground.  They would love it if our family could come along too as we are one of the few families they love to do camping with.  We like to do things together, but I am not a "joined at the hip" kind of person.  If something doesn't fit my family, I just do something else and hook up later. They love that as sometimes other friends have been a bit clingy and needy.

But, my company did not give raises this year.  And I have a guy in college. So this required a lot of thought and looking at the budget.  It required talking with my wife, whom I know HATES Florida with a passion.  I did both though, and I think we might be able to pull it off. We don't have a camper but I can rent one down there for way less than the cost of renting a house and the campground looks fun and like a place all the kids would enjoy.

I have also begun discussions with Fiona's group home about working with me to make a plan for her to come down for part of the week so that she too gets a Disney experience. She has wanted this her whole life--what kid doesn't?  In typical form, the head basically said gee, go ahead and take her on a trip.  I said, whoa, wait a minute. It is more than that.  I have researched and she is entitled to a vacation whether or not our family was going.  Therefore, I expect there to be a plan for accompanying her and helping her to succeed.  She may become overwhelmed and need to take space.  She may want to do something at the park that the younger kids don't want to do. Those options need to be planned for.  There was a bit of stunned silence at the end of the phone but then the head of the program agreed and said that they would be happy to contact the rest of the team and begin working on this.  I so hope it plays out well.  I have also been clear to them that Fiona is to know NOTHING about this.  It is way too far away and the anticipation will not be anything she can begin to deal with.

Camping Fun, nearly done

We are back from our ocean campout and had so much fun.  It was a day shorter than we had hoped, but that day allowed KC to recuperate from his strep throat.  Well worth it, as even the first day I found that he was more tired than is typical.  We had lots of beach and pool time, spent time with my mom and her significant other and went to an oceanside amusement park in the evening.  The kids love to do that as things look cool with the lights on and the dark skies. All told, since Memorial Day I have camped with them 5 times and our last time will be with our folds from church in mid September. .  Today I washed and got things organized and put away--much of our usual gear will not be needed for that final campout as we do not need to cook for that one. I love camping and the kids have definately been bitten by my camping bug.

I think my wife is less in love with it than i am.  She is a lover of creature comforts and like the Hermit Crab, tries to carry her house with her to the campsite so to speak.  I am all about sitting on a rock or a log and not packing chairs.  I want the least amount of stuff so I can spend the maximum amount of time doing things.  And then there is that phrase "doing things"  My wife likes to sit and knit at the campsite where the kids and I are always off hiking, swimming or looking for adventures of some sort.

Emotionally I was so not ready to come home today. The sea and salt air called to me.  The song of the pine trees overhead begged me to stay.   But grown up responsibilities call and home we came.   And as I was cleaning gear up I was all ready planning next years campouts in my head.

Memorial Day Camping Fun

The whirlwind of life continues at its typical crazy speed!  Over Memorial Day weekend the kids and I went camping with friends of ours.  It is at a ski area in NH where they have a variety of activities that all our kids enjoy.  Tree top aerial adventures were the big hit this year for KC, Lissa and their 7 year old friend A.  It was amazing to me to watch them learn how to use carabiners and a trolley to do a zip line.  They traversed obstacles, walked on swinging logs and cheered each other on with enthusiasm and had an amazing time.  KC who is usually my timid guy was in the lead both times through the course, his feet sure footed from his dance training.

Lissa was a rock star on the climbing wall.  She truly climbs like a mountain goat--this girl is born for extreme sports I think!  Both times she did the climbing wall she chose the route that had the over hang that you had to get up and over.  Naturally, this was the hardest route, but honestly, she made it look easy.

Poor Rob had come because last year there was a skate park where he could do bike and skateboard tricks.  He loved that and was there all day every day last year.  This year they abolished the skate park but forgot to delete it from their website so we did not know until we arrived.  I admire the way he handles disappointments though. He is gracious and never pouts or rants.  He helped the littles out and spent time shooting pictures of the little kids.  He did try the 20 foot stunt jump a few times and he took the kids up the mountain on the scenic chair lift ride. He did the water balloon fight game with the kids as well.   He is not into rock climbing or the aerial tree top type things though. I love that he never complained or moaned about the loss of his favorite activity; he just found ways to participate.

Our campsite was beautiful, large, quiet, not too terribly far from the bathrooms. (always a plus when Lissa wakens me at 2 a.m.!)  The first night was really really cold--32 degrees, but after that it got warmer each day. 

We totally forgot one tote of our camping supplies so we left home my fire starters, my coffee pot and our cups.  Of the 3 items, the only one I missed was the coffee pot.  LOL  I still made a campfire and did not need the fire starters--old Girl Scout training is still in effect! We used small bowls as our "cups" and looked a bit like pictures one sees of Mongols when we were sipping our OJ but it worked.  I don't let forgetting something color an experience.  We are there to have fun and there is always a work around if you think out of the box a bit.

On the last day we were there I bought myself a ticket and did the 20 foot stunt jump.  It was a blast! I sort of forgot the pledge I made to my wife years ago when we expanded our family about not doing anything extremely dangerous.  My friend videod the jump too so there was, as they say, incriminating evidence!

After  long cold winter though, it felt amazing to be able to be outside for hours on end and we all had a really wonderful time. It may be the only camp out that Rob is able to come on this year depending on his work schedule.

He has been newly hired to work in the produce department of a local grocery store.  I am proud that he has a summer job, and so is he.  And this chain is known for being extremely good to its employees with bonus opportunities even for part time workers. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around camping without him--Rob is that really good camping helper who just knows exactly what to do without my even saying anything.

Struggles and Extractions

It was Patriots Day weekend, a long weekend for me with no work yesterday. This is a holiday that not all states celebrate, but ours does.  It was a low key weekend for me, though my wife says that is purely because I don't know how to relax.  She is right about that.  I hate sitting around.  I love to be doing.  I don't want to waste a minute of this precious life I have been given. Yet I know that actively appreciating can lead to frenetic racing, so I work constantly to try and balance my own high energy with "pauses" for the rest of the family.

I did a lot of swapping of closets this weekend.  Us folks in the Northeast have a deep abiding urge to shed the winter woolies. So since Saturday weather was warm, I did this. I knew it was going to get cold again later in the weekend, but I am sailing my ship with positivity and believing the warmer temps will be back sooner rather than later.

I got a lot of outgrown clothes either to the consignment shop or to the pod where one can donate usable goods for free.  I even sorted some of my shoes (my one real vanity) and consigned those that I have not worn and will not wear again. Once you are in the um, 50's , some styles just look down right silly on you!

Sunday was church and that is always a touch stone for my week.  Our minister spoke on genocide and there is much for me to mull over in the week to come.  I tried to write my piece to read tomorrow at Amazing Jane's retirement party. It is a work in progress.  There is so much I want to say, but I want to be respectful of Fiona's privacy as well at the gathering.

Fiona has been struggling and I have spent a lot of time on the phone with her. When she is disregulated she alternately pulls me close and pushes me away, blaming me for all the injustices both real and perceived in her life.  She refused to go to the new day program that I have been working months on because her hair was not done in extensions.  She did not ask for extensions until late the night before when it was not possible to even get clip ins to skate by on.  I am not sure if she is afraid and did this subconsiously to avoid going or if it is the fact that she has a total inability to plan ahead.  At any rate, that night she totally lost control attacking staff and another resident and requiring a hold and one on one presence for the next 24 hours. She would call me and rage at me, saying she didn't want me to be my guardian any more.  I tried to just let her vent and then we would hang up.  I would call back a few hours to say that I loved her and that I would always be there no matter what she felt she needed to say, she would cry and calm down, only to wash rinse repeat hours later.   Yesterday was the first day she sounded more herself and I am hoping the worst is over with as I want to bring her to Jane's farewell party tomorrow.

Yesterday morning I had a tooth extracted.  Apparently I am such a weirdo that I did not know I had an abcessed tooth.  There was no pain. It was found during my regular cleaning last week.  I had the tooth out in the morning and all is well.  They gave me a pain med which I did not need or even bother to fill. I took Ad*il yesterday, but today I don't think I will need anything.  The only annoying thing is that I won't be eating many salads this week. OK any salads this week!  I need to eat softer foods while I heal and salads are my favorite lunch.  I made them every morning and love throwing different add ins--egg, edamame, tiny bits of roasted veggies, salsa, you name it, into the regular base of greens.  My wife hates salads and thinks I am nuts.  So today it is pumpkin raviolis instead, but I really can't complain as all went so well.

All day long my wife kept telling me to go lie down and I kept saying "why?"  LOL  So we got the camping gear out of storage and organized instead as it is only 5 weeks till I take the kids for the first camp out. Now THAT makes me smile!

My not so free range chickens, er kids

It has been interesting reading about the issue of the kids who were walking home on a busy street alone and the parents got into problems over it.  I think that is wrong and that it is the right of those parents to decide if those kids are savvy enough to be safe doing that walk.  By all accounts, the parents seem to have done a good job; starting out with smaller solo walks and building up to that one.  That said, I'm not that much of a free range person for myself--I just don't want the government stepping in and telling me when and how to parent.

I read on social media about people who say they roamed their neighborhoods freely as children--leaving the house at daybreak and returning when the street lights came on.  By the time I was a child in this same city, that was not really the parenting style.  I did not have helicopter parents, but they knew where I was and there were designated times to check in.  The times between check ins got longer as I grew into teen years, but I still had to check in. And it was a given that if my family expected me in one place and I didn't inform them of a change in plans and wasn't there if they needed me--all bets were off on future freedoms.

My friends all thought I had a way more laid back family set up than they did. They had rigid curfews, and really strict guidelines on where they could go and when.  And all this was before there was an app to tell me how many pedofiles live in my neighborhood.  Before the apartment building next door became a sad home of a number of substance abusers (somewhat sarcastically called the Heroin house amongst us)  It was way before I saw people do a drug deal at the corner store where we buy our milk.  There were fewer cars and they drove slower.Stores were not open on Sundays so we could and did mess around in the parking lots with skateboards or home made instruments of death defying fun.

So here in our city--which is not a bad city--just sadly, a fairly typical one, I am not so free range.  We go on family bike rides and I'll let the kids be far enough ahead that i have to watch them, but I could speed up and get to them should the need arise.  I don't let either KC and/or Lissa walk to and from the park alone.  Part of it is that I know that Lissa would not listen to KC who is by far the most likely to be responsible. She is very strong willed,fiercely competitive and frankly can run faster than he can. If she takes off, he's not catching her.

I try and parent with an air of just matter of factness when we gather to cross one of our busy streets.  Right now we hold hands because the ginormous snowbanks make visibility a challenge. There has been a fatality of someone walking home and being hit by a plow.  It was no one's fault, but extra caution is warranted.  There is also a ton of ice underfoot.  So I just say we are being careful due to winter weather and that this way I know everyone is coming across at the same time.  I don't say "hold on tight to my hand or you're gonna dieeeeeeeeeee!"  LOL

Where I can be more free range is when we go camping and I suspect that is a facet of camping that my kids love more than all the back to nature stuff that I adore.  They typically have a little posse of kids and they roam the campground together from dawn to dusk, checking in much as I did when I was a kid.  There are times when we are doing something as a family and we all break off but when we return, the little gang of fun loving kids magically reappears. They need that.  They need to do those crazy things that I did (like trying to walk on rolling cable spools)  They need to catch fireflies and chatter with kids out of adult earshot.  Camping gives us that. There is a leash, I suppose.  I have the kind of check in system that my folks did but it seems to offer enough freedom for them to explore and stretch, at least for now.

Ferry Beach

We are back from our final "camping" weekend. Actually it is a gathering of our church and another sister church that happens annually.  One can rent dorm rooms but that would be pricey for our family. Tent sites are MUCH more affordable and also allow Chet to have a place and space that he can decompress in.  This is important.  The sounds of dorm life are minimal to those of us who are neuro typical. To my eldest son, it is a cacophany and he can't tune it out or turn it off.

It was chilly, And yes, it rained, making all but one of our campouts have rain at some point.  Kind of a weird record but there you go!  Still, it was a lot of fun. It was very relaxing to me because there is not a lick of cooking or cleaning that one does while at this event. Zero.  I repeat, ZERO!

The kids have a zillion friends, as do I. And they were all off doing their things while I chatted with mine.  We had a family beach walk when we first got there, but other than that, mostly everyone did their own thing.

I love to talk with people.  What inspires people, what upsets people, what makes them tick--it is all interesting to me.  So I did a lot of talking and even more listening.  I also had a lot of time to read. I brought my kindle and had more uninterupted reading time than I have had in years.

I helped provide supplies for the Saturday night bonfire--that was fun.  The weather was not warm enough for swimming but it was great for kite flying, playing on the beach, finding ducks looking for their dinners and more.

Saturday night is also the talent show.  KC played a piece he wrote himself.  Lissa did a gymnastics routine she worked out with her BFF.  Rob was his usual easy going self, hanging out with teens and adults alike.

But the star of this weekend was my Chet.  And I am beyond thrilled.  Chet's actual presence there was in jeopardy a few weeks back as his behaviors were wildly out of control.  I don't know why.  Sometimes I know a trigger but not always.  However we had a long serious talk and made a specific action plan of what he needed to change in order to come to Ferry Beach.

I was worried.  Often when he wants something the most is when he shoots himself in the foot with poor behavior choices. But this time, he pulled it together and came with us.  He did well at the restaurant we had supper in on Friday night.  He was relatively calm during the set up of our campsite.

He loves to be "bell hop" for the church members and friends who arrive through out the evening.  He knows the room assignments and helps people unload and get to their room.  He has done this for years and folks really look forward to it.  This year he also took on a role in the dining hall, bussing dishes for people and helping to wipe down the tables.

His efforts were noticed and the weekend coordinators asked me if they should get him a gift card or something to thank him.  I said no, that for Chet being able to be there, and to contribute in a postive way was also a gift for him.  He gets great emotional value from the experience and did not need a gift card.  Instead, they asked him to stand after breakfast and gave him a formal thank you and a round of applause from the 100 or so people there.  He glowed, and I gave thanks.

So many times in Chet's life, I have to explain.  Explain that he didn't mean to be rude, or that he has challenges understanding personal space. Explain the unusual facial tics that sometimes happen when he is stressed. Explain the fact that he doesn't get social cues and know when to end a conversation or a topic.

But this weekend, I didn't have to do any of those things.  Most of the people there have known Chet for a long time.  This helps them to see beyond the quirks so to speak and see the giving nature that is very much a part of his personality. This is a gift I will remember for a long, long time.

And still more camping!

Last weekend me camped again, this time at a new to us campground in upper NH.  We were literally a stone's throw from VT.  It was a peaceful little mom and pop operation, yet in an ironic twist the owner is from the city we live in.  I did not know this at the time and there were as a result, 30 folks from our city up there for a family reunion!  Truly our world is smaller than we realize!

We spent Saturday at the kids favorite theme park (we have season passes) and then late Saturday afternoon headed to the pool.  There KC and Lissa made friends with two little girls and I started chatting with their dad.  We all got really friendly and have exchanged emails and phone numbers as they have family not far from us and visit down in our area often. (they were not part of the reunion crowd and actually live in NH)

After supper, we all played with the glow sticks that I brought, and the large grassy field lent itself to raucous games of chase.  When it was time to settle a bit, everyone, including the new friends came down to our tent site for a campfire.  The dad is new to camping and learned about  smores and mystical fire that night!

We also found a cafe where we had breakfast. A ymmy breakfast, too!  One of the fun things we do when we camp in a new locale is to try and find a small  place to eat a breakfast or a lunch. Nothing y pricey but something that is not a chain.  I have nothing against Subw*y and such, but truly there is nothing like finding a cool place that is owned and operated by a person with creativity and good cooking skills.  Rob is usually the guy I put this challenge to, as he aspires to a culinary career.  He has not steered us wrong yet and the Moon Beam Cafe was stellar.  (if you will pardon the celestial pun!)

As is our norm, the weather was rainy the night we arrived--we literally got our tent up seconds before a downpour.  Then it was cloudy on Saturday and gorgeous on Sunday when we had to depart.  But we are way past letting rain or clouds bother us.

I don't know whether it is knowing that this may well be the last year Rob will come with us--at least at this level of camping.  Or if it is needing a mental break from harsh realities of our world, but we have escaped to campsites around new england more this year than ever before.  WE have made wonderful memories, deepend old friendships and made new ones.  Under gleaming stars with fires warm glow, the hatred of Ferguson MO seems far away.  The threat of another war on the horizon can be pushed into the farther reaches of my mind.  We laugh. We sing and tell stories.  Because at the core of who I am I believe that these experiences are a foundation that will help my kids successfully face adversity and remember how to find peace when their spirits need it.  Which is why my spare bedroom is still filled with camping gear, as we leave again on Thursday for our traditional Labor Day weekend campout at the ocean!

Early August campout

We are back from another camping excursion.  This one was to a favorite campground with some friends of ours.  What I especially love about this location is that the tent camping folks (aka us) have sites that are no where near the RV camping folks.  I have nothing against RV campers.  I just like being separate because they bring all their "house" stuff with them.  Radios. TV's Other electrical and noisy things.  All I want is us and  the  natural world.  You get that in spades here as long as you don't mind a long hilly walk to and from the bathroom and the rubbish areas.  Given that there are also black bears in the area, I think being far awy from those things is good as well. LOL

Weather was far from ideal.  As seems to be our pattern this year, we had rain.  Almost every day in varying amounts.  But we still had fun.  It was so quiet at night that it was really hard for me to sleep the first night we were home in the city.  But after that I was used to it again.  Sure did love the peaceful quiet woods though!

In the day time, the kids played with our friends daughter and with other camping friends they met.  In an odd twist of events, we often bump into people we met in years past camping and that happened again for KC at this campground.  He and the little boy got on famously.

Despite its remote location  every Saturday there is a ton of kid friendly activities at this campground.  From 11 a.m through to the magic show that ended at 8 P.m. there were crafts games and more to keep the fun rolling along.

Despite that, I think the memory that the kids will carry away from this one was an hour of swimming in the rain