You don't have to look far to find blogs where adoptive parents write of how difficult the onset of legal adulthood is for many adopted kids. So many choose to make separating from home a painful break--often though not always healed later.
I am hoping that we will have a more peaceful situation with Rob and frankly his actions and demeanor point to the positives. He is interested in a college in a nearby state that has a fine culinary program. I sent for info on the college today. He is still a year away from graduating but I am thinking that if we approach this gradually--Rob like most of my kids does not like change thrust upon him-- that things will be a bit easier for him.
As we drove to his girlfriends house today I asked him if he had thought about whether or not he wanted to commute to a college or if he wanted to live on campus. He had not thought about that and I could see a bit of the deer in the headlights look. I said that if he did go to the college he wanted info on, that it was close enough to commute if that was something he was interested in, and that he had lots of time to decide what he thought would work out best for him.
Though I did not say it to him, selfishly I sort of hope he wants to commute. But deep down, I want him to choose the path that will be best for him and help him grow in to the fine young man that I believe he can and will be.