Thursday, March 7, 2013

My mom's new boyfriend

I am not sure why I titled  the last post about Fiona's pending visit "wintry weather!"  We will have to blame it on the little head cold that my darling children have shared with me for that bit of brain fog.  LOL  I have been meaning to write about my mom for awhile though.

Mom has been married twice. She and my actual father--the guy who is nowhere in my life--divorced when I was 19 I never thought my mom would remarry. She was very deeply in love and had no idea that the marriage was foundering so badly.  Many years went by and when Chet was about 2 she met the man she would marry.  She actually had known him for many years, but they had not had a romantic relationship. He was a widowed retired UU minister.  They dated and in short order, Kirsty was sewing my mom's wedding dress, Chet was lighting the chalice at a wedding and they were off to their life in Maine.

Years passed and there was a very significant age gap between the two of them.  Ken passed away about 3 or 4 years ago, having lived a long life well into his 90s.  He was an amazing grampa to my kids and they all knew him and loved him very much.

More time passed.  Mom had one gentleman that she met at church and they dated for over  a year before he unexpectedly ended things.  My kids had met him and liked him too.  Then after he moved on, and a little bit of time passed, Mom met Griff.  They hit things off well and yet this time she was almost shy about us meeting him.  She voiced concerns that the kids would not like him.  Which was weird to me.  My kids just are not like that unless the guy is a true troll!

Finally she brought him home here for Christmas (our roles do reverse at a certain time in our lives don't they?) and we all had a great time together.  He is warm, intelligent, funny and obviously smitten with Mom.  Mom really likes smitten.  LOL

A couple weeks ago she wrote to me that she was reorganizing her study.  Mom has kept that study inviolate since Ken passed.  It is filled with stuff she.does.not.need.  But will not part with or move.  Do not ask me how I know this.  It is a fact.  I jokingly wrote back and asked her if she was moving her pencil cup from the left side of the humungous and overly large  desk to the other. She wrote back that she had to make room for G's technology equipment becuase he was moving in. And were we upset about that?

KC had all ready asked after Yule if G was now his "Grampa in law" so clearly he intuitively picked up on the closeness between his nana and her man.  G,  upon moving in, graciously asked KC to decide what he wanted to call him.  KC said "why Grampa G  of course!"

I think it is wonderful.  They cook together, they are both in fairly good health and enjoy similar activities, I can see nothing to be upset about.  Unfortunately one of G's children does not feel the same way, but two of the kids like my mom and have been warm and welcoming.  I told mom that she wasn't moving in with any of the children and just to focus on G and herself.  If the daughter sees that her dad is truly happy, likely in time she will come round.


Channie said...

It is so heart warming to see your family so open and loving to important people in your mom's life. It is sad when this isn't the case. It seemed so natural to bring my step-mother into the family and we feel she is just as part of the family as anyone else. Unfortunately her children don't think that way and they want little to do with my father or their step-siblings. My opinion is why would you want to deny your children or yourself more people to love and to love you.

Lee said...

I feel exactly the same way! I have even used that exact phrase of "why would you want to deny a chance for more people to love you/them." In our case this extends also to our children's first families.