Monday, December 17, 2012
I should be writing Christmas cards. I should be wrapping gifts. Sigh. I am doing none of those things. In part, I feel kind of lousy. I had a sneaky sore throat come to visit me last night. I think I have almost kicked it to the curb, thanks to lots of herbals and zinc. But I feel tired and was feeling subpar all day.
I started watching The Voice as I love listening to music. The opening reduced me to a blubbery blob of raw emotions. The judges and contestants sang Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah holding signs with the names of those killed in CT. I absolutely adore that song. It was a really fitting and beautiful song to sing to honor those spirits lost too soon. But I am feeling very raw and emotionally vulnerable and not at all able to write anything really intelligent and cogent about it.
I found myself scrolling through my copious files of pictures, smiling at pictures of the kids and family activities that have filled our years. My family is not immune to mental health issues. I think they are well handled but I am not sure. You never can be. And mental health services--good ones especially--are very hard to reliably access. I pray that the decisions I have made in regard to those with mental health disabilities are correct and that there will never be a horrific reason to second guess my choices.