You don't look like us!

I thought I would share a funny story, that is also sort of thought provoking, at least for me.  When I took the kids on the whale watch there was a photographer that took everyone's pictures as they boarded.  It was a good shot of all of us and I bought a 5 x 7.  When my mom was down a couple of weeks ago, I showed her the picture.  Candidly, I take horrid pictures as a general rule. I am just not photogenic.  But this shot was the exception to the rule.  At any rate, my mom looked at it, commented on how cute the kids looked.  Then. . .

"But oh my god Lee, you don't look like any of us.  Where did YOU come from?"

Now to be clear, this did  not hurt my feelings.Yet for that small moment in time, the comment brought me up short. Did I really NOT look like my family? How was that possible?


  Truthfully I think there are some family resemblences, but likely the fact that I was wearing my ball cap and an oversized flannel shirt made me look less like the self that is usually presented to my family. I know my genetic gifts from my family.  I wear glasses like my mom and dad, I have thinning fine hair like my mom's side of the family, I am tall and slender like my fathers family. 
 
But my kids face that every day.  And I know they spend a lot of time thinking about it because they point out frequently the features they have that are like each other, those that are dissimilar. We even know and comment on shared interests.  KC loving dance just like Nana and I, Rob's bird ID skills would have made my grandmother smile, etc.  They know these stories -- but I know it is not the same.  I know that tiny blip of disconnect felt really weird to me when my mom said that.  And I know that weird feeling has to be part of the way they feel every day, and my heart hurts for them because of that.