Monday, November 5, 2012

Supporting Families to avoid adoption

In general, this is laudable and sensible to me. Even as an adoptive parent who loves my children passionately, I know that they are mine because of a deep loss. A wound that all my love will not heal.  However, I am deeply conflicted as to what constitutes supporting a marginal family so that the family can be a safe home for a child.

In a largely unbloggable work situation about a week ago, a child was in a dangerous situation.  It is pretty apparent that the parent was utterly unaware of the danger her young child was in and equally clear that this situation was not the kind of thing most parents would ever be unaware of.  Thankfully, nothing horrible happened to the child.  I called the authorities however because of the danger the child had been in and the lack of awareness that mom expressed over the situation.

My call was "screened out."  I got a form letter saying that the agency is all ready working with the family.  Yippee.  The mother and the case worker subsequently showed up at the office to explain to my boss how diligently the mom is working her plan.

This is the biggest load of you know what I have ever seen.  This was not the first incident I had ever witnessed with the family, only the most dangerous and egregious.  I know we are all human and can be fooled by someone who can spin a good story.  I know too that to work in human services one must have an optimistic nature that believes that a situation can change for the better.  And most times, I actually believe that too.

I don't in this particular case and it angers me to the point of incoherence that a child's safely and well being are treated in such a cavalier manner. That said, I don't know what the answer is, so it is probably unfair of me to be so scathing.  I also know of cases where I believe  DCF has acted precipitiously and unfairly, removing children from homes and situations that could have been worked with.  Like so much in our society these days, there doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

1 comment:

Sunday Taylor said...

i know it is hard for me when i deal with child welfare stuff when it comes up at work, one because i know from life experience just how complex it is and two, because there isn't much i can say or process through it with others. So you/I get kind of stuck tossing it around in my own head without the insight or thoughts of others. I don't know...it is just so hard to deal with knowing just how complicated it can be.