Tuesday, August 2, 2011

"I feel like you lied"

Tonight Fiona called and with a bit of help (though not too much) from Amazing Jane, Fiona was able to give voice to her anger and disappointment over finding out about our Disney plans. She also was able to actually say that she felt that we had lied to her. She remembers one of us saying that K got sick on planes and could not fly.  I think it is likely something along those lines must have been said at some point--and my wife hates flying passionately so it seems reasonable.

I told Fiona that I felt horrible about how she found out about this and that KC did too.  She was surprised that I had talked with him about it incidently.  I said that sometimes things change and that it was really really hard to convince Mama K to consider getting on a plane but that only by flying would we be able to go to Disney. I simply can not be away from work long enough to drive from our state to Florida.  We talked about how sometimes things in life change and that this is not really the same as lying.  When the statement was said to her (what was probably 7 or 8 years ago) it  was true.  But now, many years later, it wasn't.  I think she got it.  I also told her how proud i was of her for being brave enough to tell me how she felt, and that she needed to remember that no matter how angry she was with me or how upset, I would always love her and always listen to what she wanted to tell me.

Then we talked a bit about how not coming on this trip did not mean she would never go to Disney. Jane asked if I could tell Fiona what she would need to work on in order to try and go to Disney.  I said it was really about safety.  (one of her unsafe behaviors of last week was running head first into a window which was thankfully plexi-glass.)  I said that I needed to know that no matter how excited she was, how angry, tired, frustrated whatever, that she would only use her words and she would not bolt or try to harm herself in any way.

Fiona comes out on Saturday for a visit. We are going to   a chain restaurant that she adores.  It is a hard restaurant for the rest of the family as the vegetarian options are extraordinarily limited and kind of yucky. ( yes I know cause we ate there once with my mom!!) But I don't really care.  The rest of  us can all go hungry for all I care.  My daughter is coming home for a visit on Saturday and that is so much food for my soul that my stomach won't even need food!

1 comment:

Sunday Koffron said...

I am so happy for her and excited for you!!!!!