Talking With Jane

Jane called last evening.  Fiona had opted out of calling.  She is not angry with us but was sort of having a power struggle with Jane.  Periodically she decides that staff are in her business too much and has a bit of temper over things.  I get this as the reality is that she is 19 but functions like a much younger teen. For safety and for help with healing staff needs to have involvement for processing and such.  In some ways it is similar to some of the ways that I have to handle life with Chet. He too sometimes has the same reaction that Fiona has so when Fi's temper is turned on me for this, it doesn't bother me much.

Jane had gotten the pictures I had sent Fiona of her sister Krystal and had shared them with Fi.  Fiona had been very excited to see them but every  new contact with  family triggers feelings that overwhelm her. Typically she worries that she will "screw up" contact and "do something bad." I imagine this is particularly strong in the connections with Krystal as Krystal was afraid of her at one point.

Apparently after the picture viewing, Fiona had a phone call with Cousin N.  Somewhere in the course of that phone call she lost her control and couldn't follow the phone plan, yelled and screamed at Jane and stomped out of the room.  The good thing from my perspective is that she didn't hurt herself or others, she didn't try to leave school AND cousin N got to hear this. N was shocked and was trying to tell Fiona to be respectful to her elders which of course was not flying. N has long felt that Fi's issues would be easily and completely solved by simply being with first family.  While Jane and I both want as much first family contact as is safe and appropriate and healthy for Fiona, it would sure help if they could realize how  much healing Fi has done and how fragile she still is.  Seeing or hearing Fi when she is feeling overwhelmed may help N to  understand this and perhaps she can help educate other family members.