Of differences and disabilities

I live in a community that is called one of the "Twin Cities."  But the twins are really different in a lot of ways, just as our children are.  One twin, the one I live in, has easy major highway access and as a result has enjoyed a level of ongoing affluence that the other twin has not.  (don't ask me why the other twin opted out of highway access long ago but it was actually their decision to do so.) 

As a result, my city has a beautiful new expanded library, excellent city services etc.  We also have a culture where   the homeless, the obviously mentally disabled, and the "street people" don't exist.  Oh I am sure they are here. But they are tucked out of sight and best remember to remain that way. 

In our less wealthy neighboring twin city, the community struggles to provide basic city services to the residents.  Many downtown buildings are boarded up or have vacant store fronts. The library is only open 21 to 25 hours a week.  And yet, it is in that city that my eldest has the greatest level of acceptance.  Differently abled people have always been visible and present on the Main Street.  Homeless and street people often linger at the small park in the center of town in good weather and used to spend the day in the library back when it was adequately funded and open normal hours.

As such, bringing Chet to that library was always an easy experience.  The staff were wonderful to him and he grew up borrowing his books mostly at that library.  The fact that the YMCA was also there made it easy for his swimming lesson to happen and then to follow up with a visit to the library.  The director of the Children's Room became a good friend and J was always so kind and accepting that even when he was long past the age for the Childrens Room, Chet would stop down and visit.  J always had time for him and was interested in his views.

My other kids came along and as we utilized the YMCA for them, we continued using the library in that city.  Chet would spend the swim class time picking out his books and then would socialize with the staff.  The younger kids went to story hours there and they too, came to love J and her quiet demeanor. 

Then the economy began to go south a few years ago and the library was forced to reduce its hours to very minimal hours. They lost their certification and were no longer open on Saturdays.  Our world was thrown into chaos for a while as I struggled to help Chet with the change in a routine that he adored and had been in place for many years.  He was not able to successfully navigate the large beautiful library in our city. And the staff were less interested in having long conversations with a somewhat rambling 20 something.  I began to receive gentle complaints that he was too loud, too intrusive to staff and patrons.  Ultimately we went to Chet choosing his books on line at home and me picking them up for him on Saturdays.  Don't get me wrong, the libary is amazing, and the staff are very nice.  But you have to be a round peg and slide easily into a round hole.  My eldest  son is not a round peg.

A few weeks ago I got an email from J saying that they are now open 2 hours on Satudays if I would ever like to stop in.  It is hard to readjust our schedule now.  Dance has supplanted Saturday swim lessons and once that is underway the library will be closed by the time we would be free to get there.  But today, with a wide open Saturday morning, I could make this happen.

It was so great to see J.  We all chatted for the longest time. She will retire in about 2 years and it is strange to me to think of that library without her in it.  Truly she has known us for more than 20 years! Chet picked out books, talked with his friend and was so happy that it made my heart sing.  On the way home he asked to stop at a local park in the same city that we used to often go to.  There is a lovely pond with ducks and geese there.  Sadly the economy has impacted that as well and you can't drive to the park but must park about 1/2 mile away and walk in.  But we did.  And watching the troops do silly skipping and dancing down the deserted road was funny enough to make me forget (almost) that I only had flip flops on since I truly had no idea that we would wind up there today.  Sometimes the unexpected is the greatest gift of all!