Living in Joy

Claudia  is an  awesome adoptive parent whose blog I read often .Today she wrote an interesting post today on the concept of negativity.  I had been thinking of something else to write about, but this really resonated for me.  I read a number of blogs.  Some often, some not so much.  The not so much adoption blogs I read, I usually stop because they hurt me to read.  And it is the negativity factor.  I get that people need to vent.  And although we may feel like we are just writing in our journal, I remember the first time I had a comment on my blog.  I was all "OMG, someone actually READ my blog??"  Don't get me wrong, I am okay with that, but it does mean I filter a bit what I choose to share.

I also have confessed before that my family has always called me "Pollyanna." I tend to look at glasses as half full.  It is just how I am wired.  That is kind of how the name of my blog came about in the first place.  I know it takes more than love to build a family.  It takes hard work.  And although the work an adoptive family may have to do is different, I am not sure it is always harder.  I have a family member whose biological 15 year old daughter recently battled addiction to oxycontin and alcohol.  Seems pretty tough to me.  I have family members who battle mental illness, social anxiety disorders, abuse by a family member and more.

So handling and healing from tough issues isn't just an adoption thing.  In my opinion it is part of being human.  We are all less than perfect and sometimes this means we inflict pain or make a negative choice.  (and I am saying we in the most general of terms here, but I think it is pretty true)

My kids are one of the greatest joys in my life.  Some of them present me with hard issues related to disability, or to trauma from their early life.  Perhaps my biggest regrets concern the fact that Fiona had to be removed from our home.  But I have come to a certain level of peace with that because I can see that she is making slow steady progress at the Great School in the City and we are in frequent contact with her.  She feels loved and she is loved and that is so important to me.  But above and beyond all the challenges, is the joy.  Their smiles, their successes, the experiences we share together.

I can't imagine a life that they are not part of.