Fiona gets annoyed but it's all good

Last night when Fiona called, the front end of things was a bit different.  She wants microbraid extensions.  Her hair is badly damaged and apparently staff have explained to her that right now, she can't do this because her hair can't handle it.  She could have some cornrows put in but that is about it.  To say that Fiona is angry about this is an understatement.  All that came through in the call. 

There were a few good things about it though. First off, it wasn't the WHOLE call. She was able to vent, to try to process and then to move on so that the kids didn't have to deal with all that. In the past, an upset is the whole deal.  There is no moving on in the space of a 10 to 15 minute call. So that in itself is pretty huge.

Secondly, she was able to say that I do a "pretty good job" on Lissa's hair and was willing to try some products that I use if i would send them to her.  I actually wanted to bring them to the next visit but since staff are not going to be available on a weekend till August, I am going to mail some in July and bring more in August when i see her.  (right now, staff are there to help during visits and i am not quite ready to go it without their presence, because I am still learning the ropes of the rules of the Great School in the City.

Thirdly, in the course of the call, most of the arguing was with her clinician Jane, who is usually involved in the calls.  At one point Fiona said something to Jane about her staying out of this, that she was talking to her family and that her family would want her to have her hair done the way she wanted it.  ROFL It was a pretty obvious attempt to divide and conquer which I wasn't buying but it felt good to hear her claim us in a fairly spontaneous way as family.

Lastly, later in the call, Fiona was speaking about something her first mother did when they were all together.  For as long as I have known her, Fiona has always said "my real  mom" for her first mother and though she cared for us, we could never "be" her mom as well in those times.  Last night, she said "When I was little, Mom J did. . . " and shared the happy memory.  There was such a difference in the sharing and it felt so good. 

I'm going to try and find those long pony tail falls that you can clip on. She could microbraid that and maybe it would meet her rock star glam vision enough to feel good.