Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Fiona was supposed to call tonight. And Jane called instead to say that Fiona would not call. Fi was refusing to make a phone plan and seemed edgy and angry. Jane felt that likely the preparations the kids had been doing for tomorrow's awards and graduation were setting her off. I said no worries and we made our plans for tomorrow as we all are going to be there.
Then about an hour later the phone rang and it was Fiona. She sounded happy but tense and the call was far from excellent. She wanted to know when we were going to have a home visit. I gave her and Jane every single open Saturday for the next 2 months so that they could check Jane's schedule. That is fine and the appropriate next step. The problem is that Fiona has no real calendar sense.
I am an idiot because I forgot this. Probably because the kids here at home are all VERY calendar savvy. They each have their own calendars and marking special times or just checking off the days is a big deal to them. So no matter what I said or what Jane suggested, Fiona felt it was all too far away and was feeling confused and overwhelmed. On the plus side she could say she was feeling confused. On the minus side neither Jane or I could come up with a strategy that would help her see that a visit was not far off.
I tried to re-direct her toward our visit tomorrow at the Great School and she was having none of that. It just made me want to cry to hear her frustration and sadness. I felt so inadequate and I know that my greatest weakness as a parent is in being able to break things down so that someone with cognitive challenges doesn't feel overwhelmed. I try to be really conscious and intentional,but sometimes I forget. I speak too quickly or with too complex a thought and leave her stranded which was so not my intention.
Hopefully seeing us tomorrow will help.