I hate watching kids bounce

We are going to hopefully be visiting Fiona in a couple of weeks.  Jane said when she and I talked that Fi had expressed a desire to have all the family that she is presently connected with at the visit and Jane wondered about inviting cousin N and her daughter.  I am totally fine with that but after we hung up I remmebered that cousin N. now had custody of their brother D.  I emailed Jane that should we  not consider inviting D as well so that 3 of the siblings could be together.  I know that D has not wanted to do the letter writing and so there is not an official visit plan but figured in a large-ish group visit it should be okay.

Except that Jane wrote back and was not adverse to it if I thought it was beneficial but D is not living with cousin N any more because things did not work out.  He is in a new foster family and she is not sure that his sw will cooperate in time to orchestrate a visit.

Sigh.  I am not judging cousin N.  The placement not working out at her home may have had nothing to do with her (though the uncharitable part of me keeps pointing out that she adopted Krystal and then in months had shipped her down south to live with other relatives and where she remains.) But at 17 all the bouncing and lack of permanancy can not be good for this young man.

I have only met him a few times but enjoyed both the experiences.  I can't wrap my mind around what he has gone through.  First the removal from his mom and separation from his siblings.  Adoption by a paternal relative with whom he lived for a number of years.  Something going really wrong in the home that was not his doing that caused his removal.  Living with a foster family that he clearly loved but who could not keep him.  Moving to a residential.  Moving to his cousins.  Moving again.

I doubt very much that he will be part of the visit in a couple weeks and probably emotionally is not in a place to consider it.  But my heart aches for D.