American Music Awards

I  missed the American Music Awards and I wish I hadn't.  Adam Lambert had a really controversial number,supposedly rife with sex.  Gay sex.  Gasp!  First off, I confess I like Adam.  I wanted him to win Idol cause I like his audacity and I think his voice and vocal ability is flat out amazing.  That said, I wish I had seen the performance that everyone is going nuts about.  By the time the idea occured to me to check You Tube, the video had all ready been taken down because of course, it was copy righted.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not really a big fan of in your face sex.  That said, I think it is there all the time in music.  In the videos, in the performaces.  I remember Madonna videos causing all kinds of controversy.  I remember being surprised at some that I saw more recently. Rhianna's "umbrella" video I seem to remember as being pretty sexualized.  I think I remember some of R. Kelly's that were pretty intense.  I am really bad with connecting names with specific videos because I am always doing something else when I watch, but I know there have been lots.  The thing is, they might have caused some controversy but nothing to this level. Because at the end of the day, it was heterosexual sex that was being portrayed and that somehow made it okay.  It is "OK" for back up dancers to grind up against a lead singer in a totally provocative way.  Can anyone really believe they are not pantomiming a sex act?  Doubt it!

But Adam dared to do the same 'envelope pushing' as a gay man.  Kissing a man on stage (and I am guessing we are not talking a little peck by the furor that has ensued) and other dramatic dancing and acting that disturbed (to put it mildly) lots of viewers.  Was it appropriate to the venue, with respect to time slot and the fact that lots of kids were likely watching?  Maybe not.  But is it more appropriate for a woman to wear a bustier and fishnets and grind on a guy in the same time block? My guess is that if my kids had seen it I would have had the same discussion about the time and place for intimate actions regardless of whether it was Adam or a female star who was acting out sex with a man.   At the end of the day for me, that explanation needs to come from me.  My kids will see the world in a variety of ways whether I want them to or not.  Part of my job is to have a relationship that will allow us to process what they see, and to give them hopefully, a values set that will allow them to handle situations that may be outside their comfort zone.  Now, are y'all glad that I didn't feel like writing about how we made place cards for our Thanksgiving table today?