The joy of family! (rant)

There have been times when people have told me that it must be "hard" dealing with all the bio family issues that come with adopting. While i would agree that it adds a layer of complexity, it isn't always "hard." Hard is reserved for my personal biological family, thank you very much.

Feel free to click to the next blog where someone isn't cranky and feeling persecuted. Right now. Fair warning! I only have one sister and our relationship has been very on again off again. I have expended considerable effort trying to be much closer to her over the past 5 or 6 years. However, she remains one of those people that I really only hear from when she wants or needs something.

I have not heard from her in more than 2 1/2 months. We had no fight, she just stopped emailing me and started emailing my mom. If I affronted her I really don't know. The door just shut. I would occasionally get a 2 sentence facebook hello. That feels very superficial though. We used to email each other nearly 4 times a week and talk by phone a couple times a month. Something was up but as i said earlier, this is also a pattern of my sister's relationship with me. Whenever I look to what was going on when my sister was close to me, there was a need in her life that she wanted me to fill. Once that was filled, she disappeared again.

Today at work she called and asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving. I said I was hosting dinner for 12 people. She said how about 3 more, essentially inviting herself, her on again off again husband and one of her daughters. I almost dropped the phone.

I tried to be nice. I said how about dessert and coffee after dinner instead of coming for the meal. I legitimately have a huge problem just getting the 12 people to table and not a room where I can put another table without folks feeling isolated or like they are somehow second class citizens. I don't want to do a childrens table as it pretty much means only my kids wouldn't be at the table (sis's dau is 16 and I am sure would balk at a trip to a kid table).

And I was feeling pretty bad about modifying her self invite that way until she pipes up: "Well I figured Mom should get to see my daughter and this would be the way to do that ." Uh huh. Feel less bad about it now!