Monday, January 17, 2011

Marking a Passage

I've been shopping for one of my residents that lives where I work for a while now.  The kids have become friends with Mr. D. too.  Undeterred by the oxygen line snaking through his apartment, or his somewhat quirky nature, they would smile and chat with him while I unloaded his groceries and explained what I had chosen for him at the market that week. As the weeks passed, I learned his "favorites".  I think he had even forgotten he had favorites because his illness had confined his choices to the local 7/11 type market until I began shopping for him. Sometimes I would throw in a few of the cookies we had made here at the house, telling him he was helping my waist line by taking them. (this is not a lie, that is a help!!)

This Saturday when I did his shopping I knew I could not get there till Sunday to deliver the groceries because of the party at our house.  He was fine with that.  I tried calling several times on Sunday and there was no answer.  I was marginally concerned.  I brought the food with me to work today and tried calling him from the office.  There was no answer.  Now I was  really concerned but one of my staff said they saw him out walking on Saturday so I convinced myself he must have gone to an appointment.  Then the hospital called my office.  He had passed away Sunday  night.  The hospital called us because they could not locate the next of kin.

We gave them the number we had for his sister.  They said that they had that number but no one was answering.  We said we didn't know what else to do right then as we had no other number. The hospital had the nerve to say and this is sadly a quote:  "Well that is no help and now we are stuck with him."

My coworker who had answered the phone said that Mr. D was a really nice man and the jerk from the hospital backed down.  By the time I got  home tonite his sister had been located. But passings should be marked by more than being an inconvenience to hospital staff so this is my marking the passing of Mr. D.

He loved to share a joke, or something he heard on the TV or the radio.
He had wonderful memories of his mother who had predeceased him.
He was so very proud of a nephew who lives far away and always shared the boys athletic accomplishments with us when he heard of them.
He knew he had made mistakes in life and was willing to acknowledge them.
He was honest to a fault.
He had a very sweet way of paying back when help was offered--bringing up a pen set or a calendar for me  or a lighter for my coworker.
He loved all kinds of music, especially classical that he heard on the local public radio station.
He will be missed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing that beautiful reminder of his life and your friendship. It sounds like you are richer for having known him and shared your resources with him.

- April in RI