This was the weekend for the teens to make the big trek to the Big City. I picked up the guys at 5 p.m. and brought them back to our house. We ordered pizza and they settled in for a nice evening of video games and chatting. They are all really good kids. The house was filled with laughter and it was a very easy night by my reckoning. They were up late, but by 1:30 they were settling down for a bit of sleep.
I was up by 6:30 and was shocked to find that they were actually awake and up. LOL At least one of the kids is really really not a morning person so this was beyond surprising and showed how much they really wanted to do this trip. They wanted pancakes for breakfast so I made a double batch and then they cleaned up the living room, stowed their gear and I drove them to the train station.
They spent the day in the City. I don't know every detail but I know a fair amount. The joy of social media serves parents well in this regard. The kids circulated photos of all the things they did and comments and it was all really normal, age appropriate fun. I am proud of all of them for having fun and showing all the parents that they were ready to make this happen.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Olympic Thoughts.
It's an Olympic summer this year and I am so excited! I love the Olympics. I have watched them ever since I was really really little. I remember my grandparents explaining the Olympics to me so I was probably6 or 7 when I first started watching. I don't care if they are the winter ones or the summer ones. I love both seasons. There is something about the pageantry, watching the nations parading in gets me every time. I almost don't care what sport is on--though water polo will never be a fave of mine to watch. LOL Nor is basketball in the winter ones. But almost anything else will suck me in.
I love learning about the different countries, the struggles that athletes have gone through to have the experience of representing their nation in this competion. When I was much younger it felt like a peaceful pause. Even as a kid I was aware of the violence and war torn areas of our world and it felt like a respite from that. An illusion that was shattered in the 1972 Olympics. I remember those Olympics too. And I find it beyond sad that there was not a moment of silence and remembrance for those athletes at this Olympics. It seemed appropriate and I don't understand the decision to not do that. So sad.
On a lighter note, Lissa said she is going to be in the Olympics. She will compete in. . . skipping!
I love learning about the different countries, the struggles that athletes have gone through to have the experience of representing their nation in this competion. When I was much younger it felt like a peaceful pause. Even as a kid I was aware of the violence and war torn areas of our world and it felt like a respite from that. An illusion that was shattered in the 1972 Olympics. I remember those Olympics too. And I find it beyond sad that there was not a moment of silence and remembrance for those athletes at this Olympics. It seemed appropriate and I don't understand the decision to not do that. So sad.
On a lighter note, Lissa said she is going to be in the Olympics. She will compete in. . . skipping!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Swimmingly!
It was our second night of swim classes and KC and Lissa did so well! It was a more challenging night as it was the last lesson of the session for the other kids--mine having started at the tail end. So it was the lesson where evals were done to decide who would progress from "polliwog" to "guppy." I definately still have 2 polliwogs but I am impressed by how hard they are trying. Lissa also seems to have real natural ability in the water. KC always has loved the water but he tires easily which worries me. (that boy needs to learn how to float!) Lissa, who has great physical strength, is just a natural.
Drowning is the second leading cause of death in African American children under age 14. I have always been adamant on my kids learning to swim, but that recently learned stat is really really scary! I do have lots of adult black friends who do not know how to swim. I always thought it kind of weird, but I have been swimming since I was Lissa's age. And I realize that our summers spent on a lake put me at a far greater advantage for having the repeated water exposures that facilitate both learning to swim and a comfort level with water in general. However in both KC and Lissa's class there are other black kids so at least it looks like in our locale, there is an increased awareness among parents of all racial and ethnic backgrounds on how important learning to swim really is.
Drowning is the second leading cause of death in African American children under age 14. I have always been adamant on my kids learning to swim, but that recently learned stat is really really scary! I do have lots of adult black friends who do not know how to swim. I always thought it kind of weird, but I have been swimming since I was Lissa's age. And I realize that our summers spent on a lake put me at a far greater advantage for having the repeated water exposures that facilitate both learning to swim and a comfort level with water in general. However in both KC and Lissa's class there are other black kids so at least it looks like in our locale, there is an increased awareness among parents of all racial and ethnic backgrounds on how important learning to swim really is.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Big City Plans?
Well last night it looked like all systems go for Rob's trip with friends into the Big City. A little back story on the trip is probably in order. My wife and I are the kind of parents that are always on the same page--except when we are totally not! LOL As in, we agree about most things, but I am 100 per cent behind this experience. My wife is not. She feels he is too young, that any number of horrible things may happen and that we as adults should be there to make sure they are okay. However, with considerable grace she bowed to my fairly intense badgering on Rob's behalf. I pointed out the fact that Rob is more Big City savvy than she perhaps knows. He goes into town with me regularly to see Fiona. He knows the train schedules. He knows the area that they will be in, if not completely, at least enough to be both safe and to have fun. So I thought it was a done deal.
Till Kirsty told me this a.m. that she got several emails from 2 of the other parents of the kids involved and that they were all concerned about the trip. And. It. Should.Not.Happen. I talked tonight with the dad of one of the boys who will be going and it seems that he and his wife, like K and I are a house divided. He is actually totally fine with his son making the trek with this group. Fine with him being at our house for the night. Thinks the plans are sensible and allow enough freedom for kids their age to have fun and test their wings a bit.
He and I mostly wound up brainstorming as to how we could bring the other 2 parents on board. We decided that Rob would write up a detailed plan and put it on Facebook to share with the parents and all the kids who are coming. This way everything is there--the times of the trains, the cost of the tickets, everything. Even little details like the fact that I have told them to buy round trip tickets so they don't run out of cash and have a glitch trying to get a train home.
So it isn't a sure thing yet, but things are looking better. Cross your fingers and toes, because I want this for them as much as my son wants it, I think. I believe passionately that my kids can't live in bubble wrap. I would LIKE to do that, and to know that they were safe in every situation. The reality is: I have not been safe in every situation. I learned from those experiences and by the grace of the goddess I am here today. That is what I hope and pray for for them. And for them to know that I am always here for them.
Till Kirsty told me this a.m. that she got several emails from 2 of the other parents of the kids involved and that they were all concerned about the trip. And. It. Should.Not.Happen. I talked tonight with the dad of one of the boys who will be going and it seems that he and his wife, like K and I are a house divided. He is actually totally fine with his son making the trek with this group. Fine with him being at our house for the night. Thinks the plans are sensible and allow enough freedom for kids their age to have fun and test their wings a bit.
He and I mostly wound up brainstorming as to how we could bring the other 2 parents on board. We decided that Rob would write up a detailed plan and put it on Facebook to share with the parents and all the kids who are coming. This way everything is there--the times of the trains, the cost of the tickets, everything. Even little details like the fact that I have told them to buy round trip tickets so they don't run out of cash and have a glitch trying to get a train home.
So it isn't a sure thing yet, but things are looking better. Cross your fingers and toes, because I want this for them as much as my son wants it, I think. I believe passionately that my kids can't live in bubble wrap. I would LIKE to do that, and to know that they were safe in every situation. The reality is: I have not been safe in every situation. I learned from those experiences and by the grace of the goddess I am here today. That is what I hope and pray for for them. And for them to know that I am always here for them.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Rob's plans
Rob spent yesterday and 1/2 of today camping with his god father. It was a function of our church men's group and they all had a really good time. Rob also shared with me the plans he has been working on for his trip to the big City. He really has put a lot of thought into this and I feel confident that the group of them should be safe and should have fun.
However part of the plan involves 3 of his teen male friends spending the night at our house so that they will be able to take the 9:30 a.m. train to the Big City. Rob's girlfriend will not spend the night here but lives closer than some of the boys and will be able to get transportation to the train station. He has shared where they want to spend their day and I am very much behind this.
I am also frankly pretty happy that he wants to have a bunch of his friends spend the night. Till his best friend stayed over this June, Rob has never wanted to have someone spend the night here. He has gone to other people's houses, and he has brought friends camping, but he has not wanted to have anyone spend the night. This speaks to a security and comfort level that as a parent, makes me smile. Despite the noise the extra snacks I will need to haul in, despite the mess that will inevitabley result, I am smiling!
However part of the plan involves 3 of his teen male friends spending the night at our house so that they will be able to take the 9:30 a.m. train to the Big City. Rob's girlfriend will not spend the night here but lives closer than some of the boys and will be able to get transportation to the train station. He has shared where they want to spend their day and I am very much behind this.
I am also frankly pretty happy that he wants to have a bunch of his friends spend the night. Till his best friend stayed over this June, Rob has never wanted to have someone spend the night here. He has gone to other people's houses, and he has brought friends camping, but he has not wanted to have anyone spend the night. This speaks to a security and comfort level that as a parent, makes me smile. Despite the noise the extra snacks I will need to haul in, despite the mess that will inevitabley result, I am smiling!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Rob's plans
Rob spent yesterday and 1/2 of today camping with his god father. It was a function of our church men's group and they all had a really good time. Rob also shared with me the plans he has been working on for his trip to the big City. He really has put a lot of thought into this and I feel confident that the group of them should be safe and should have fun.
However part of the plan involves 3 of his teen male friends spending the night at our house so that they will be able to take the 9:30 a.m. train to the Big City. Rob's girlfriend will not spend the night here but lives closer than some of the boys and will be able to get transportation to the train station. He has shared where they want to spend their day and I am very much behind this.
I am also frankly pretty happy that he wants to have a bunch of his friends spend the night. Till his best friend stayed over this June, Rob has never wanted to have someone spend the night here. He has gone to other people's houses, and he has brought friends camping, but he has not wanted to have anyone spend the night. This speaks to a security and comfort level that as a parent, makes me smile. Despite the noise the extra snacks I will need to haul in, despite the mess that will inevitabley result, I am smiling!
However part of the plan involves 3 of his teen male friends spending the night at our house so that they will be able to take the 9:30 a.m. train to the Big City. Rob's girlfriend will not spend the night here but lives closer than some of the boys and will be able to get transportation to the train station. He has shared where they want to spend their day and I am very much behind this.
I am also frankly pretty happy that he wants to have a bunch of his friends spend the night. Till his best friend stayed over this June, Rob has never wanted to have someone spend the night here. He has gone to other people's houses, and he has brought friends camping, but he has not wanted to have anyone spend the night. This speaks to a security and comfort level that as a parent, makes me smile. Despite the noise the extra snacks I will need to haul in, despite the mess that will inevitabley result, I am smiling!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
High Summer but I'm thinking Home Schoolin'!
We're eating fresh local corn and our tomatos are starting to ripen in our garden. The days are long and lots of them are hot. I am loving every minute of it. But there are signs. Signs that the wheel is turning and that inevitably, fall will be arriving.
First, there is Fantasy Football trash talk in our house! Rob and I compete against each other in the NFL Fantasy football. We never wind up in the same league so it isn't exactly apples to apples anyway, but it makes fall a lot of fun. My "draft" is tonight at 8:30 His is on Monday night. We have been researching our players, sharing notes, talking about who is on our "excluded" lists etc
And then there is homeschooling preparations. I decided that I was unhappy with the English Lit curriculums I could find and I have decided to do what I did for Chet--build my own curriculum. Last night I chose the books that I will work our year around. I have classics--The Scarlet Letter and Grapes of Wrath Both of these will be if not interesting reads for Rob per se, interesting in looking at societal issues that are key to these works. I have several plays, Glass Menagerie and A Raisin in the Sun.. I have fantasy and sci fi : Dragonsong and Farenheit 451. I have books written by African Americans, Black Boy and I Know why the Caged Bird Sings. I have books from a list specifically geared toward high school males, Feed which I have not read and Sunrise over Fallujah which I have also not read. There are others too, but it was so much fun cherry picking books. A book is a treasure to read and an even bigger treasure to share. I am looking forward to lots of sharing this year.
First, there is Fantasy Football trash talk in our house! Rob and I compete against each other in the NFL Fantasy football. We never wind up in the same league so it isn't exactly apples to apples anyway, but it makes fall a lot of fun. My "draft" is tonight at 8:30 His is on Monday night. We have been researching our players, sharing notes, talking about who is on our "excluded" lists etc
And then there is homeschooling preparations. I decided that I was unhappy with the English Lit curriculums I could find and I have decided to do what I did for Chet--build my own curriculum. Last night I chose the books that I will work our year around. I have classics--The Scarlet Letter and Grapes of Wrath Both of these will be if not interesting reads for Rob per se, interesting in looking at societal issues that are key to these works. I have several plays, Glass Menagerie and A Raisin in the Sun.. I have fantasy and sci fi : Dragonsong and Farenheit 451. I have books written by African Americans, Black Boy and I Know why the Caged Bird Sings. I have books from a list specifically geared toward high school males, Feed which I have not read and Sunrise over Fallujah which I have also not read. There are others too, but it was so much fun cherry picking books. A book is a treasure to read and an even bigger treasure to share. I am looking forward to lots of sharing this year.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Theater comes to the monkey bars!
Monday night I was doing Lissa'a hair after shower and she suddenly burst into hysterical tears. I could not understand her through the sobs but it was something about camp and not wanting to go. I finally got her calm enough to tell me what was up and she said there was a play and she had a part and she did not want to be in it.
I promised that K would check on this before she dropped her off at camp and that we would make sure that she was not in the play. We had signed her up for playground camp, not theater camp and we knew she did not want to be in a play. Right now Lissa has a strong aversion to performing in front of people. She does make an exception for dance class (I gave her the opt out clause for recital but she said she can and will do the recital) but in general she hates feeling on display.
K talked to the camp counselor and came home and called me at work and said the skit was last week and not to worry. Lissa came home yesterday with a notice from the camp staff. The entire recreation dept is combining with the theater camp to put on a production of 101 Dalmations which will be performed at City Hall next month. This would allow every child to experience the wonders of theater camp. And Lissa had a part. For real? Do these people have ears?????
I think the theater is wonderful. I think exposing kids to it is great. Mine are going to see Mary Poppins the musical in September. But I believe in children doing things when they are ready for them. It is a big part of why I homeschool. Lissa does not want this and emotionally, she is not ready for it. Sigh. I can see that today a phone call is in order!
I promised that K would check on this before she dropped her off at camp and that we would make sure that she was not in the play. We had signed her up for playground camp, not theater camp and we knew she did not want to be in a play. Right now Lissa has a strong aversion to performing in front of people. She does make an exception for dance class (I gave her the opt out clause for recital but she said she can and will do the recital) but in general she hates feeling on display.
K talked to the camp counselor and came home and called me at work and said the skit was last week and not to worry. Lissa came home yesterday with a notice from the camp staff. The entire recreation dept is combining with the theater camp to put on a production of 101 Dalmations which will be performed at City Hall next month. This would allow every child to experience the wonders of theater camp. And Lissa had a part. For real? Do these people have ears?????
I think the theater is wonderful. I think exposing kids to it is great. Mine are going to see Mary Poppins the musical in September. But I believe in children doing things when they are ready for them. It is a big part of why I homeschool. Lissa does not want this and emotionally, she is not ready for it. Sigh. I can see that today a phone call is in order!
Clay Camp
Today was the first day of KC's week long Clay Camp. This is an art program run through our city's recreation department. The classes are only till noon, which is just perfect for my little msn. He woke at 5:30 this morning because he was so excited to be going. By 7:00 a.m. he was in the bathroom with a stomach ache. Nerves much? He got through it though and got to camp. . . AND LOVED IT!
K was worried when she went to drop him off as a bunch of kids were outside and they were really loud and rowdy. Which is not a problem. Just that KC is not really those things in any large degree. He can be loud and he can be rowdy but more in the telling a funny joke at supper sort of way than what she saw. Turned out it was a sports camp that takes place at the same time as Clay Camp.
Clay camp is comprised of 9 other kids who all have the same artistic bent as KC. And a great teacher that he appears to all ready be 1/2 in love with. (KC kind of falls in love with all his art teachers!) Tomorrow K will be positively lonely as KC will be gone all morning and Lissa is at playground camp all day!
K was worried when she went to drop him off as a bunch of kids were outside and they were really loud and rowdy. Which is not a problem. Just that KC is not really those things in any large degree. He can be loud and he can be rowdy but more in the telling a funny joke at supper sort of way than what she saw. Turned out it was a sports camp that takes place at the same time as Clay Camp.
Clay camp is comprised of 9 other kids who all have the same artistic bent as KC. And a great teacher that he appears to all ready be 1/2 in love with. (KC kind of falls in love with all his art teachers!) Tomorrow K will be positively lonely as KC will be gone all morning and Lissa is at playground camp all day!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Sunday Swim Day
I found a lake for us to visit today. Our usual "swmming hole" was not available as they have a sporting event there this weekend and it is thus closed to general swimming. I was at a bit of a loss. I did not want to drive over an hour of highway driving in near century temps to get to an ocean beach. The local state forest beach is not a good fit for our family. The way they rope their swimming areas the deep end is not acessable from the shallow end and thus I can't effectively life guard my deep water swimmer(s) while watching the littles in the shallow end. Also the beach is small and the number of people in the water is a bit of a challenge for Chet. I had despaired of much beyond a slip and slide in our back yard when I remembered a lake in a nearby state. It is less than an hour from us and we were on the road pretty quickly once I checked it out on line. They would allow food, my swim vests (some places don't!) and the cost would only be $10 to admit us for the day. I had lunch packed and the car loaded and we were on the road before 10:30 As I drove through town, it read 97 degrees then. Oy!
It was beautiful at the lake though. It was significantly cooler--about 10 degrees or more. The lake is very large and the roped swimming area is equally large. So people were spread out and this was optimal for Chet. Also there were fresh water snail shells to gather. Chet will spend literally the entire time you bring him to the beach gathering shells. He stopped for lunch and that was it. His intense fixation on this is baffling to KC. He wants Chet to feel included. He spent some time helping him look for shells but 5 1/2 hours of shell gathering was not something he wanted to do. He kept trying to call Chet over to us where we were playing in the water and could not understand his lack of interest in that.
The littles and I played water frisbee, mother may I (the "water version!" which truly must be seen to be believed!) water tag and just goofed around. Finally about 3:10 or so it started to sprinkle a bit and I called it a day. On the way home I stopped and bought them all a cone, not knowing today was National Ice Cream Day! It was a great end to the weekend and a great summer memory to treasure in January when winter winds will howl!
It was beautiful at the lake though. It was significantly cooler--about 10 degrees or more. The lake is very large and the roped swimming area is equally large. So people were spread out and this was optimal for Chet. Also there were fresh water snail shells to gather. Chet will spend literally the entire time you bring him to the beach gathering shells. He stopped for lunch and that was it. His intense fixation on this is baffling to KC. He wants Chet to feel included. He spent some time helping him look for shells but 5 1/2 hours of shell gathering was not something he wanted to do. He kept trying to call Chet over to us where we were playing in the water and could not understand his lack of interest in that.
The littles and I played water frisbee, mother may I (the "water version!" which truly must be seen to be believed!) water tag and just goofed around. Finally about 3:10 or so it started to sprinkle a bit and I called it a day. On the way home I stopped and bought them all a cone, not knowing today was National Ice Cream Day! It was a great end to the weekend and a great summer memory to treasure in January when winter winds will howl!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I have great kids even when I screw up!
Today we all woke early--the kids were playing outside before 7 a.m., enjoying the dew on the grass and the comparative coolness because it was cloudy and the temps were probably only low 80s. We did breakfast after K left for work shopped for groceries and had them all unpacked before 8:30. Went to the post office to mail gifts to my daughter and 2 friends of K's and went to the library. Came home and did the wash and started on the bathroom.
In there I also wrapped birthday gifts for the kids friend A. whose party at an indoor playground was today. Don't I sound like a paragon of efficiency? Except that I wrote the time of the party wrong on my calendar. It was 10:30 to 12:45 p.m. I wrote it as starting at 1:30 p.m. Missing the all important zero after the one and not discovering this till my second load of wash was in the washer, making it about 11:15 all ready. And the venue was 20 minutes away. I threw the gift and the kids in the car explaining in frantic harried tones what I had done wrong and how sorry I was.
I expected tears and wails. They have been looking forward to this for weeks. They both said that they understood and that they knew I had not done it on purpose. We also had to buy sox on the way as you need those on your feet and my kids don't wear sox much in the summer. And when I threw them in the car in my panic I did not think to check for sox on their tootsies.
We got to the party in time to have pizza, sing happy birthday and have cake. The jumping part of the indoor bounce place was all over with and they were all deflated. I expected that the scene might start then, when the reality of what they could not do hit them.
But they were wonderful. They played with their friend A. They invented games in the open space available to them, and played happily till 12:45 when we all left. They are now outside cooling off on the slip and slide. I am a really really lucky mom.
In there I also wrapped birthday gifts for the kids friend A. whose party at an indoor playground was today. Don't I sound like a paragon of efficiency? Except that I wrote the time of the party wrong on my calendar. It was 10:30 to 12:45 p.m. I wrote it as starting at 1:30 p.m. Missing the all important zero after the one and not discovering this till my second load of wash was in the washer, making it about 11:15 all ready. And the venue was 20 minutes away. I threw the gift and the kids in the car explaining in frantic harried tones what I had done wrong and how sorry I was.
I expected tears and wails. They have been looking forward to this for weeks. They both said that they understood and that they knew I had not done it on purpose. We also had to buy sox on the way as you need those on your feet and my kids don't wear sox much in the summer. And when I threw them in the car in my panic I did not think to check for sox on their tootsies.
We got to the party in time to have pizza, sing happy birthday and have cake. The jumping part of the indoor bounce place was all over with and they were all deflated. I expected that the scene might start then, when the reality of what they could not do hit them.
But they were wonderful. They played with their friend A. They invented games in the open space available to them, and played happily till 12:45 when we all left. They are now outside cooling off on the slip and slide. I am a really really lucky mom.
KC,Picasso, and Mario Bros!
And here is the little artiste in his new room he is sharing with Rob. His Mario Bros sheet set came today so the bed is all dressed as he wishes and he had to try it out and make sure it was comfy. Some of the Mario wall clings have come but not all and I think I will wait and see if he wants to journal this on his blog before I co-opt more of his story! :-)
Friday, July 13, 2012
Almost the weekend
Teen Anecdote
I have not been on Facebook much the past week or ten days. But last night I was on for a short bit. I was reading a conversation Rob was having with a friend about where he (Rob) wanted to work. Rob said he wanted to work at a large department store. His girlfriend (who all ready has a job) said "yay, you finally want a job!" His best friend said "won't you be too tired? Don't forget you have a job on Sundays (volunteer maintenance at a childrens museum).Best friend is not an energetic ball of fire! Rob said to his best friend, "don't worry about me, I have a mom who can do that. Made me smile.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
KC Moves out!
Of my bedroom that is! He has been sleeping in his own bed at the bottom of my bed for months but not been ready to make the leap to sleeping in Rob's room. I didn't push, finding that if I mentioned it too often, we had incidents of sleep walking and night terrors that to me, just were not worth it. I figured he would go when he was ready and today, he apparently decided he was ready.
He and Rob readied his side of the room,Kirsty helped him hang is Mario poster. In went the bed, the new night light and a small bookcase for treasures and all his books. He is very very proud of the space and other KC specific items will decorate it in the future. I just didn't buy them in advance since I wasn't sure when this great event was going to happen. LOL
Meanwhile I am LOVING how spacious and airy my room feels. And Rob says he is okay with things as long as KC does not wake him or try to get in bed with him. Neither are likely, and even Rob admits that! LOL Speaking of Rob, he is off on a date tonight. He and his gf have had a hard time getting together recently. T's grandmother has been ill and T has been in charge of being with gmom in the day while her parents are at work, as well as keeping an eye on her 13 y/o brother. But tonight she is free and they are dining out and he was dressed to the 9's when he left the house.
He and Rob readied his side of the room,Kirsty helped him hang is Mario poster. In went the bed, the new night light and a small bookcase for treasures and all his books. He is very very proud of the space and other KC specific items will decorate it in the future. I just didn't buy them in advance since I wasn't sure when this great event was going to happen. LOL
Meanwhile I am LOVING how spacious and airy my room feels. And Rob says he is okay with things as long as KC does not wake him or try to get in bed with him. Neither are likely, and even Rob admits that! LOL Speaking of Rob, he is off on a date tonight. He and his gf have had a hard time getting together recently. T's grandmother has been ill and T has been in charge of being with gmom in the day while her parents are at work, as well as keeping an eye on her 13 y/o brother. But tonight she is free and they are dining out and he was dressed to the 9's when he left the house.
Fiona's Letter
Yesterday I put the finishing touches on the letter to DSS requesting that Fiona's case be transferred to our locale. 2 pages of details about our life together with Fi and all the reasons I could think of as to how such a move would benefit her. And in so many ways I think it would.
It also scares me as I don't know all the services and supports that she gets in the Big City and I worry that there may not always be comparable ones in our smaller city. However there is another city only 20 minutes away that I could bring her to for mental health services. There are no longer any mental health inpatient services in our city--budget cuts removed those 2 years ago. But again, there are in the city that is 20 minutes away. Would she need those services less if she could be with us more? And at 22 she would not liikely stay in the Big City anyway but go back to a far less wealthy city even farther from us which is where her case originated. If none of this makes sense, don't worry. These are the mental crazies that I do at night as I try to visualize many different scenarios and how we would be able to logistically make any one of them work.
Above all, I don't want her 22 and feeling lost and unloved. I don't want her becoming homeless because she can't manage money or runs off in anger. I don't know if I can stop all those things, but I feel like if she is not 90 minutes away I have a better shot at helping her succeed.
It also scares me as I don't know all the services and supports that she gets in the Big City and I worry that there may not always be comparable ones in our smaller city. However there is another city only 20 minutes away that I could bring her to for mental health services. There are no longer any mental health inpatient services in our city--budget cuts removed those 2 years ago. But again, there are in the city that is 20 minutes away. Would she need those services less if she could be with us more? And at 22 she would not liikely stay in the Big City anyway but go back to a far less wealthy city even farther from us which is where her case originated. If none of this makes sense, don't worry. These are the mental crazies that I do at night as I try to visualize many different scenarios and how we would be able to logistically make any one of them work.
Above all, I don't want her 22 and feeling lost and unloved. I don't want her becoming homeless because she can't manage money or runs off in anger. I don't know if I can stop all those things, but I feel like if she is not 90 minutes away I have a better shot at helping her succeed.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Our big Day
Yesterday was a very big day at our house. Lissa lost her first tooth! At 5 1/2 she has waited a long time to catch up to her big brother by losing a tooth. To add insult to injury, KC started all that really early as his teeth are soft and not in good condition. A 5 year old does not care about that, but parents do. LOL She proudly showed me the hole where her tooth used to be when they picked me up for my eye dr appointment.
My regular eye doctor had wanted me to see a specialist and yesterday was the day. I still have to go back for one more tests but it appears that I am only "glaucoma suspect" and most likely the reason for that is due to anatomy, a tilted lens which makes some things in my eye look like I have glaucoma. But the other more reliable indicators, ocular pressure and optic nerve health are all negative. I wasn't really worried about it because with Rob's glaucoma this is a disease I know a lot about and even if I had it, I know that there are many effective ways to manage it.
When the doctor finished speaking with me he asked what kind of work I did. I thought this was because my eyes were dilated and he wanted to make sure I wasn't running out to run machinery or something. I told him my job and he said he had only asked as he thought i was in the medical field because I was so knowledgable. Nope, just a mom, but I also believe that we can not leave the health of our minds and bodies to doctors without being as informed as we possibly can be.
My regular eye doctor had wanted me to see a specialist and yesterday was the day. I still have to go back for one more tests but it appears that I am only "glaucoma suspect" and most likely the reason for that is due to anatomy, a tilted lens which makes some things in my eye look like I have glaucoma. But the other more reliable indicators, ocular pressure and optic nerve health are all negative. I wasn't really worried about it because with Rob's glaucoma this is a disease I know a lot about and even if I had it, I know that there are many effective ways to manage it.
When the doctor finished speaking with me he asked what kind of work I did. I thought this was because my eyes were dilated and he wanted to make sure I wasn't running out to run machinery or something. I told him my job and he said he had only asked as he thought i was in the medical field because I was so knowledgable. Nope, just a mom, but I also believe that we can not leave the health of our minds and bodies to doctors without being as informed as we possibly can be.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Camping Fun
This Thursday we left for a camping trip with friends. We tried a new campground and it was so amazing we will likely return there in future visits. The swimming pool was literally gigantic, with two water slides, one of which was a tunnel slide inside a structure made to look like a pirate ship. Needless to say the slides were a hit with everyone who went!
My camp stove finally died but I can't complain as I have used the same one since 1979! Luckily my friends let me borrow theirs for a bit so I did some cooking, but a lot of the time we were at the little cafe that was poolside for our meals. Not "real" camping in that sense but sure a lot of fun! LOL
There were a lot of bears in the area so I was very vigilent about our site having nothing around that would entice them. The bear visited my friends site which was just up the road a teeny bit from ours, but did not venture into our site at all. This campground backs up to a national forest so such things are to be expected, though I have noticed that bears are becoming increasingly common even in more populated areas. We humans don't always share the earth all that well and many are struggling for enough contiiguious forest to have a proper range for forage and mating.
We went to Santas Village one day as that was what my friends wanted to do. The kids did not mind that we had gone there last year. The rides are great and KC still intensely believes in Santa. He talked to every single reindeer there and took the lions share of his spending money to buy himself a stuffed reindeer. Said reindeer is named Sonic, for those who are wondering!
Rob was a real trooper helping with the kids in a very child oriented theme park. Though some of the rides are fun for adults, I know he was just being a great big bro most of that day. So the next day when we decided to stay at the campground and let the kids play at the playground and swim and do some of the camp activities (like candy bar bingo) I gave him the day off. I said he could do whatever he wanted at camp and did not need to stay with me. He checked in three times during the day but mostly was on his own from 8 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Ironically we were in some of the same places but a lot of time he hung out with the teens in the arcade, playing pool. I like that he is stretching his wings but still willing to be with his family. A family in an adjacent site to mine commented on how her 16 y/o refused to come camping with them and she had only brought her 4 year old. Rob not only came and participated but he and I are truly a well oiled machine getting a campsite up and down quickly.
And in another landmark event, KC and Lissa slept on the double air mattress in their sleeping bags and I had a twin air mattress all to myself! Also KC is old enough to enjoy reading by flashlight in the tent before lights out and Lissa wants to be a big girl so she would look at a picture book with her flashlight during reading time!
Now it is back to the real world of work and also to the eye doctors to have my eyes dilated as my regular eye doc wanted me to see a specialist.
.
My camp stove finally died but I can't complain as I have used the same one since 1979! Luckily my friends let me borrow theirs for a bit so I did some cooking, but a lot of the time we were at the little cafe that was poolside for our meals. Not "real" camping in that sense but sure a lot of fun! LOL
There were a lot of bears in the area so I was very vigilent about our site having nothing around that would entice them. The bear visited my friends site which was just up the road a teeny bit from ours, but did not venture into our site at all. This campground backs up to a national forest so such things are to be expected, though I have noticed that bears are becoming increasingly common even in more populated areas. We humans don't always share the earth all that well and many are struggling for enough contiiguious forest to have a proper range for forage and mating.
We went to Santas Village one day as that was what my friends wanted to do. The kids did not mind that we had gone there last year. The rides are great and KC still intensely believes in Santa. He talked to every single reindeer there and took the lions share of his spending money to buy himself a stuffed reindeer. Said reindeer is named Sonic, for those who are wondering!
Rob was a real trooper helping with the kids in a very child oriented theme park. Though some of the rides are fun for adults, I know he was just being a great big bro most of that day. So the next day when we decided to stay at the campground and let the kids play at the playground and swim and do some of the camp activities (like candy bar bingo) I gave him the day off. I said he could do whatever he wanted at camp and did not need to stay with me. He checked in three times during the day but mostly was on his own from 8 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Ironically we were in some of the same places but a lot of time he hung out with the teens in the arcade, playing pool. I like that he is stretching his wings but still willing to be with his family. A family in an adjacent site to mine commented on how her 16 y/o refused to come camping with them and she had only brought her 4 year old. Rob not only came and participated but he and I are truly a well oiled machine getting a campsite up and down quickly.
And in another landmark event, KC and Lissa slept on the double air mattress in their sleeping bags and I had a twin air mattress all to myself! Also KC is old enough to enjoy reading by flashlight in the tent before lights out and Lissa wants to be a big girl so she would look at a picture book with her flashlight during reading time!
Now it is back to the real world of work and also to the eye doctors to have my eyes dilated as my regular eye doc wanted me to see a specialist.
.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
And We're Off!
Yesterday was our annual 4th of July BBQ. The kids god parents always come and spend the day with us and it is a lot of fun. This year the kids friend from next door also joined us. He is a cute little guy who kind of lives at our house these days. There are a myriad of issues there that should not be blogged but I never mind having an extra kid around. After the meal, the kids played in the back yard, in the sprinkler and then rode scooters in the driveway. It was a blast.
Today Lissa Rob KC and I leave for a camping trip and will return on Sunday. We are going to meet other friends in the White Mountains and celebrate their daughter's birthday. My mom is coming down tomorrow to hang out with Chet for the day as she does not h ave as much one on one time with him when we are all there. I appreciate that greatly. K has to work on Saturday and Chet does not like being alone. However he also would not like this camping trip which is very kid oriented and also in a new camping place. That could work eventually but not on the heels of having a busy day yesterday with the bbq. One of the things I have learned over the years is that he needs to have stuff spaced out in order to be successful at social situations.
So I have my fingers crossed for good weather but rain or shine, we will find a way to have fun!
Today Lissa Rob KC and I leave for a camping trip and will return on Sunday. We are going to meet other friends in the White Mountains and celebrate their daughter's birthday. My mom is coming down tomorrow to hang out with Chet for the day as she does not h ave as much one on one time with him when we are all there. I appreciate that greatly. K has to work on Saturday and Chet does not like being alone. However he also would not like this camping trip which is very kid oriented and also in a new camping place. That could work eventually but not on the heels of having a busy day yesterday with the bbq. One of the things I have learned over the years is that he needs to have stuff spaced out in order to be successful at social situations.
So I have my fingers crossed for good weather but rain or shine, we will find a way to have fun!
And We're Off!
Yesterday was our annual 4th of July BBQ. The kids god parents always come and spend the day with us and it is a lot of fun. This year the kids friend from next door also joined us. He is a cute little guy who kind of lives at our house these days. There are a myriad of issues there that should not be blogged but I never mind having an extra kid around. After the meal, the kids played in the back yard, in the sprinkler and then rode scooters in the driveway. It was a blast.
Today Lissa Rob KC and I leave for a camping trip and will return on Sunday. We are going to meet other friends in the White Mountains and celebrate their daughter's birthday. My mom is coming down tomorrow to hang out with Chet for the day as she does not h ave as much one on one time with him when we are all there. I appreciate that greatly. K has to work on Saturday and Chet does not like being alone. However he also would not like this camping trip which is very kid oriented and also in a new camping place. That could work eventually but not on the heels of having a busy day yesterday with the bbq. One of the things I have learned over the years is that he needs to have stuff spaced out in order to be successful at social situations.
So I have my fingers crossed for good weather but rain or shine, we will find a way to have fun!
Today Lissa Rob KC and I leave for a camping trip and will return on Sunday. We are going to meet other friends in the White Mountains and celebrate their daughter's birthday. My mom is coming down tomorrow to hang out with Chet for the day as she does not h ave as much one on one time with him when we are all there. I appreciate that greatly. K has to work on Saturday and Chet does not like being alone. However he also would not like this camping trip which is very kid oriented and also in a new camping place. That could work eventually but not on the heels of having a busy day yesterday with the bbq. One of the things I have learned over the years is that he needs to have stuff spaced out in order to be successful at social situations.
So I have my fingers crossed for good weather but rain or shine, we will find a way to have fun!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Fiona's changes
We recently got the go ahead from the powers that be to change what the standards would be for Fiona to earn an overnight visit. Previously we were told that 6 months of safe behavior was needed for this to happen. Truthfully I thought it was weird. None of my neuro typical kids have 6 months of achieving something fully. Sure they might and probably do strive toward it, but there are those inevitable bad days that would disqualify them. For Fiona, the longest she has ever been "safe" (this is defined as not trying to harm herself, trying to run away or trying to harm others or incite others) is 3 weeks. So why pick 6 months? I have no idea. But again, as I don't have legal clout, I walk gently here.
Fi asked that this be re-visited and I immediately agreed which threw it into the laps of the clinicians and the new DCF worker. We have now all agreed that after only a month of "safe" behavior, we can do an overnight. I am thrilled.
I am less thrilled about our chances of getting her case changed to our neck of the woods. We have been given the opportunity to write a letter requesting this--and I am writing a very passionate, carefully crafted document--but have been told it is unlikely that it will happen. Our city would have to agree to paying for Fiona's care and it is unlikely that they would do so.
Still, I can be a pretty persuasive writer can't I? I'm sure going to give it my best shot!
Fi asked that this be re-visited and I immediately agreed which threw it into the laps of the clinicians and the new DCF worker. We have now all agreed that after only a month of "safe" behavior, we can do an overnight. I am thrilled.
I am less thrilled about our chances of getting her case changed to our neck of the woods. We have been given the opportunity to write a letter requesting this--and I am writing a very passionate, carefully crafted document--but have been told it is unlikely that it will happen. Our city would have to agree to paying for Fiona's care and it is unlikely that they would do so.
Still, I can be a pretty persuasive writer can't I? I'm sure going to give it my best shot!
The good, the bad and the crazy!
Well right off the top, life is crazy! Last week I was in the Big City the last 3 days of the week for work. I had to leave home before the kids got up and returned not too much before the littles went to bed. Plus Rob was gone. They were not amused. They let us know.
This week has its own crazy. We have moved on to the next room requiring renovations. Our front hall, poor neglected room. It is 12 x 12 and the paper is at least 20 years old. Probably longer. Which means it should strip off easily off the old horsehair plaster walls. And it does. . . except where it has bonded like a glacier pressed it into place. I spent most of the weekend devoting time to the stripping process. The next 2 days I have work at my usual office. Wednesday we have our annual 4th of July BBQ with some close friends who are also godparents to our tribe. Thursday I work till noon and then leave to take the kids camping through Sunday. Another set of close friends and I do this annually and it is a blast. But that also means there should be camping prep in there somewhere. So far, camping prep has consisted of a pile of clothes for the littles that I put in my room. I think I need a bit more than that to make this work!
Rob and his girlfriend are going out on Tuesday night, so there will be transport and time involved in that. We have a double order of piece work to get done for the factory so my fingers are flying at night when everyone except Rob and I have gone to bed. We created the invitations for KC and Lissa's summer party (to be held on 8/25) and I need to spend some time figuring out the logistics of that. Some stuff is in place but there will be lots of kids so we need a wide variety of things to do.
But you know what? Some how, most of it will happen. And it will be good!
This week has its own crazy. We have moved on to the next room requiring renovations. Our front hall, poor neglected room. It is 12 x 12 and the paper is at least 20 years old. Probably longer. Which means it should strip off easily off the old horsehair plaster walls. And it does. . . except where it has bonded like a glacier pressed it into place. I spent most of the weekend devoting time to the stripping process. The next 2 days I have work at my usual office. Wednesday we have our annual 4th of July BBQ with some close friends who are also godparents to our tribe. Thursday I work till noon and then leave to take the kids camping through Sunday. Another set of close friends and I do this annually and it is a blast. But that also means there should be camping prep in there somewhere. So far, camping prep has consisted of a pile of clothes for the littles that I put in my room. I think I need a bit more than that to make this work!
Rob and his girlfriend are going out on Tuesday night, so there will be transport and time involved in that. We have a double order of piece work to get done for the factory so my fingers are flying at night when everyone except Rob and I have gone to bed. We created the invitations for KC and Lissa's summer party (to be held on 8/25) and I need to spend some time figuring out the logistics of that. Some stuff is in place but there will be lots of kids so we need a wide variety of things to do.
But you know what? Some how, most of it will happen. And it will be good!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Rob's Home!
After a week of camp, my Rob is finally home. He got in just before supper yesterday and we were so glad to see him. He had a wonderful time, got to go kayaking, bicycling, visited an island and a lighthouse that we love as a family. New friendships were made and old friendships were deepened. It was everything you want for your kid to experience at camp.
But the hole that has existed here for a week while he was gone is now filled. And a week apart shows me how much he has grown. I know he is on the cusp of young adulthood in my head. But my eyes and heart don't always see that clearly. Last night he fell asleep sitting up on the couch. I went to wake him gently and was struck by how physically mature he is. My son has a young man's body and somehow that hit me more after not seeing him for a week.
I got an insight too into other ways that Rob has grown and matured. Yesterday we went swimming at my friend Holly's house. She said she saw Rob at the mall a few weeks ago. I knew that as Rob had told me of seeing her. But what I didn't know was that he saw Holly first, spoke up clearly greeting her and gave her a hug. For Rob, who has struggled so much with feeling safe enough to express his feelings outwardly, that was huge!
Welcome home, son!
But the hole that has existed here for a week while he was gone is now filled. And a week apart shows me how much he has grown. I know he is on the cusp of young adulthood in my head. But my eyes and heart don't always see that clearly. Last night he fell asleep sitting up on the couch. I went to wake him gently and was struck by how physically mature he is. My son has a young man's body and somehow that hit me more after not seeing him for a week.
I got an insight too into other ways that Rob has grown and matured. Yesterday we went swimming at my friend Holly's house. She said she saw Rob at the mall a few weeks ago. I knew that as Rob had told me of seeing her. But what I didn't know was that he saw Holly first, spoke up clearly greeting her and gave her a hug. For Rob, who has struggled so much with feeling safe enough to express his feelings outwardly, that was huge!
Welcome home, son!
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