Friday, November 12, 2010

Movie Nights

Rob and I have begun a new little tradition.  It started I think sometime in the summer.  On Friday night I would invite him to hang with me in our work room and we would watch a movie on demand together.  I did it for a couple of reasons.  I wanted to hang with him in a way that was "cool" and not in a way that would make him feel like "oh geez my mom wants to talk to me."  Talk is stressful for him, more so than most teens and I try to do it in roundabout ways. The desultory talk that occurs while watching a movie (I am really totally unable to be quiet longer than about 15 minutes!) really works for he and I .  Sure we are not digging deeply, but the roots of our relationship are deepening and strengthening.  I can tell by his body posture when we are together.  I can tell because he has become more comfortable cracking a joke or wise guy comment to us.  So in an odd way, it is very relationship enhancing.   It also gives him time just he and I.  No little brother or sister. No big brother who is sending things careening off into some unusual tangent that only an Aspie would understand. It is just us.

What I didn't know for sure though, was how much Rob liked doing this.  Due to his past, Rob is always pretty reluctant to really say he likes something.  I think in the past, divulging that, meant things that gave joy and meaning were taken away, or used punitively.  This morning as I left for work I said that he might want to check the list of new movies that were out to get an idea of what we would want to watch. (I am notoriously bad at working those screens and it can take us 10 minutes just to find what we want to see!)

Literally almost before the words were out of my mouth he said "The new Karate Kid movie is out and we could see that."  Despite the fact that as a martial artist I have issues with calling the movie "The Karate Kid" when the kid is learning tae kwon do, I am still pretty excited!

1 comment:

GB's Mom said...

I would be excited, too. Anything to get a teen to talk!