I think that when kids have suffered a huge amount of trauma and loss they spend varying amounts of time (depending on kid and circumstances) in cocoons. These are protection against the hard and awful things they have experienced and the things they don't understand. The hard thing is that there comes a time to break through the cocoon and emerge to fly.
Breaking through a cocoon takes strength. And courage. And no one can do it for them. At least that is my take on it. I have done the nurturing part, the talking and walking the talk part. But ultimately,I can support and nurture, but then I have to wait. And hope. Rob's cocoon is a watchful silence, a retreat to media instead of interaction, and maintaining invisibility in social situation.
It has felt like I have done a lot of waiting and hoping. But I think the cocoon is starting to crack. Things that make me privately dance a jig these days:
--watching Rob crack up at the goofiness that defines a family meal at our house
--listening to him argue with me when I dis Randy Moss
--watching him ever so gently sass back one of us. Nothing rude, nothing major, an oh so gentle testing of the waters of teen one liners
--watching his body language appear relaxed and happy after a Youth Group meeting
I'll wait as long as it takes but I can't wait to see him fly free and proud and strong!
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